The Hidden Man - Charles Cumming [4]
In his own language, the Russian says, ‘Do you know who I am?’
And the Englishman, propped up by a pale thick arm, shakes his head as the colour drains from his eyes.
Again, in Russian: ‘Do you know who I am? Do you know why I have come?’
But he sees that he is passing out: his neck is suddenly loose and falling. In the moments before the second shot the Russian tries quickly to summon a sense of fulfilment, a closure to the act. He looks directly into a dying man’s eyes and tries to feel something beyond the basic violence of what he has done.
The effort is hopeless, and as the second bullet rips into his chest, he is already turning, experiencing little more than the basic fear of being discovered. He just wants to be out of this place, to be away from London. And then he will go to the grave in Samarkand and tell Mischa what he has done.
2
‘Don’t move. Hold it right there.’
The girl stopped immediately, her hand on the nape of her neck.
‘Now lookup at me.’
Her eyes met his.
‘Without twisting your head.’
She moved her chin back towards the mattress.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘Is that comfortable?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you’re warm enough?’
‘Yes, Ben, yes.’
He leaned forward, out of sight now. She heard the itch and whisper of the brush as it moved across the canvas. He said, ‘Sorry, Jenny, I interrupted you.’
‘That’s OK.’ She coughed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. ‘You said you were six when it happened? When your father walked out?’
Ben took a long drag on his cigarette and said, ‘Six, yes.’
‘And your brother?’
‘Mark was eight.’
‘And you haven’t seen your father since?’
‘No.’
Outside on the street, three floors down, a distant child was imitating the sound of a diving aeroplane.
‘Why did he leave?’
When Ben did not answer immediately, Jenny thought that she might have offended him. That could happen sometimes, with sudden intimacy. When a model is lying naked in an artist’s studio with only a thin white sheet for company, conversation tends towards the candid.
‘My father was offered a position in the Foreign Office, in 1976,’ he said finally. The voice betrayed a controlled resentment, the glimpse, perhaps, of a quicktemper. ‘The idea of it went to his head. The work meant more to him than his family did. So he took off.’
Jenny managed a compassionate smile, although there was nothing in her own experience to compare with the concept of a parent abandoning his own child. The thought appalled her. Ben continued to paint, his face very still and concentrated.
‘That must have been awful,’ she said, just to fill the silence. The remark sounded like a platitude and she regretted it. ‘I mean, it’s difficult to recover from something like that. You must find it so hard to trust anyone.’
Ben looked up.
‘Well, you have to be careful with that one, don’t you?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Blaming everything on the past, Jenny. We’re the therapy generation. An explanation for every antisocial act in our damaged adolescence. Make a mistake and you can always write it off against a shitty childhood.’
She smiled. She liked the way he said things like that, the smile that suddenly cracked across his face.
‘Is that what you believe?’ she asked.
‘Not exactly.’ He stubbed out the cigarette. He was trying to capture the play of light on her body, the darkening hollows of skin. ‘It’s what my brother thinks.’
‘Mark?’
Ben nodded. ‘He’s a lot more forgiving than I am. Actually works with my father now. Doesn’t see it as a problem at all.’
‘He works with him?’
‘Yeah.’
‘How did that happen?’
‘Freak coincidence.’ Ben blew hard on the canvas to free it of dust. He didn’t feel much like opening up and telling Jenny all about big brother’s dream job; running a top London nightclub and flying business class around the world. She was a student, just twenty-one, and would only want to know if he could get her into Libra for free or source her some cheap CDs. ‘Mark