The History of John Bull [47]
should be kept out of their own!
NIC. FROG.--An't like your worship, I am in amaze at it; I think the rogue should be compelled to his duty.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--That he should prefer his scandalous pelf, the dust and dregs of the earth, to the prosperity and grandeur of my family!
NIC. FROG.--Nay, he is mistaken there, too; for he would quickly lick himself whole again by his vails. It's strange he should prefer Philip Baboon's custom to Esquire South's.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--As you say, that my clothier, that is to get so much by the purchase, should refuse to put me in possession; did you ever know any man's tradesman serve him so before?
NIC. FROG.--No, indeed, an't please your worship, it is a very unusual proceeding; and I would not have been guilty of it for the world. If your honour had not a great stock of moderation and patience, you would not bear it so well as you do.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--It is most intolerable, that's certain, Nic., and I will be revenged.
NIC. FROG.--Methinks it is strange that Philip Baboon's tenants do not all take your honour's part, considering how good and gentle a master you are.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--True, Nic., but few are sensible of merit in this world. It is a great comfort to have so faithful a friend as thyself in so critical a juncture.
NIC. FROG.--If all the world should forsake you, be assured Nic. Frog never will; let us stick to our point, and we'll manage Bull, I'll warrant ye.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Let me kiss thee, dear Nic.; I have found one honest man among a thousand at last.
NIC. FROG.--If it were possible, your honour has it in your power to wed me still closer to your interest.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Tell me quickly, dear Nic.
NIC. FROG.--You know I am your tenant; the difference between my lease and an inheritance is such a trifle as I am sure you will not grudge your poor friend. That will be an encouragement to go on; besides, it will make Bull as mad as the devil: you and I shall be able to manage him then to some purpose.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Say no more; it shall be done, Nic., to thy heart's content.
John all this while was listening to this comical dialogue, and laughed heartily in his sleeve at the pride and simplicity of the Esquire, and the sly roguery of his friend Nic. Then of a sudden bolting into the room, he began to tell them that he believed he had brought Lewis to reasonable terms, if they would please to hear them.
Then they all bawled out aloud, "No composition: long live Esquire South and the Law!" As John was going to proceed, some roared, some stamped with their feet, others stopped their ears with their fingers.
"Nay, gentlemen," quoth John, "if you will but stop proceeding for a while, you shall judge yourselves whether Lewis's proposals* are reasonable."
* Proposals for cessation of arms and delivery of Dunkirk.
ALL.--Very fine, indeed; stop proceeding, and so lose a term.
JOHN BULL.--Not so neither; we have something by way of advance: he will put us in possession of his Manor and Castle of Ecclesdown.
NIC. FROG.--What dost talk of us? thou meanest thyself.
JOHN BULL.--When Frog took possession of anything, it was always said to be for us, and why may not John Bull be us as well as Nic. Frog was us? I hope John Bull is no more confined to singularity than Nic. Frog; or, take it so, the constant doctrine that thou hast preached up for many years was that thou and I are one; and why must we be supposed two in this case, that were always one before? It's impossible that thou and I can fall out, Nic.; we must trust one another. I have trusted thee with a great many things--prithee trust me with this one trifle.
NIC. FROG.--That principle is true in the main, but there is some speciality in this case that makes it highly inconvenient for us both.
JOHN BULL.--Those are your jealousies, that the common enemies sow between us: how often hast thou warned me of those rogues, Nic., that would make us mistrustful of one another!
NIC. FROG.--This Ecclesdown Castle is only a bone of contention.
JOHN BULL.--It
NIC. FROG.--An't like your worship, I am in amaze at it; I think the rogue should be compelled to his duty.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--That he should prefer his scandalous pelf, the dust and dregs of the earth, to the prosperity and grandeur of my family!
NIC. FROG.--Nay, he is mistaken there, too; for he would quickly lick himself whole again by his vails. It's strange he should prefer Philip Baboon's custom to Esquire South's.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--As you say, that my clothier, that is to get so much by the purchase, should refuse to put me in possession; did you ever know any man's tradesman serve him so before?
NIC. FROG.--No, indeed, an't please your worship, it is a very unusual proceeding; and I would not have been guilty of it for the world. If your honour had not a great stock of moderation and patience, you would not bear it so well as you do.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--It is most intolerable, that's certain, Nic., and I will be revenged.
NIC. FROG.--Methinks it is strange that Philip Baboon's tenants do not all take your honour's part, considering how good and gentle a master you are.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--True, Nic., but few are sensible of merit in this world. It is a great comfort to have so faithful a friend as thyself in so critical a juncture.
NIC. FROG.--If all the world should forsake you, be assured Nic. Frog never will; let us stick to our point, and we'll manage Bull, I'll warrant ye.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Let me kiss thee, dear Nic.; I have found one honest man among a thousand at last.
NIC. FROG.--If it were possible, your honour has it in your power to wed me still closer to your interest.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Tell me quickly, dear Nic.
NIC. FROG.--You know I am your tenant; the difference between my lease and an inheritance is such a trifle as I am sure you will not grudge your poor friend. That will be an encouragement to go on; besides, it will make Bull as mad as the devil: you and I shall be able to manage him then to some purpose.
ESQUIRE SOUTH.--Say no more; it shall be done, Nic., to thy heart's content.
John all this while was listening to this comical dialogue, and laughed heartily in his sleeve at the pride and simplicity of the Esquire, and the sly roguery of his friend Nic. Then of a sudden bolting into the room, he began to tell them that he believed he had brought Lewis to reasonable terms, if they would please to hear them.
Then they all bawled out aloud, "No composition: long live Esquire South and the Law!" As John was going to proceed, some roared, some stamped with their feet, others stopped their ears with their fingers.
"Nay, gentlemen," quoth John, "if you will but stop proceeding for a while, you shall judge yourselves whether Lewis's proposals* are reasonable."
* Proposals for cessation of arms and delivery of Dunkirk.
ALL.--Very fine, indeed; stop proceeding, and so lose a term.
JOHN BULL.--Not so neither; we have something by way of advance: he will put us in possession of his Manor and Castle of Ecclesdown.
NIC. FROG.--What dost talk of us? thou meanest thyself.
JOHN BULL.--When Frog took possession of anything, it was always said to be for us, and why may not John Bull be us as well as Nic. Frog was us? I hope John Bull is no more confined to singularity than Nic. Frog; or, take it so, the constant doctrine that thou hast preached up for many years was that thou and I are one; and why must we be supposed two in this case, that were always one before? It's impossible that thou and I can fall out, Nic.; we must trust one another. I have trusted thee with a great many things--prithee trust me with this one trifle.
NIC. FROG.--That principle is true in the main, but there is some speciality in this case that makes it highly inconvenient for us both.
JOHN BULL.--Those are your jealousies, that the common enemies sow between us: how often hast thou warned me of those rogues, Nic., that would make us mistrustful of one another!
NIC. FROG.--This Ecclesdown Castle is only a bone of contention.
JOHN BULL.--It