The Homeschooling Handbook_ From Preschool to High School - Mary Griffith [12]
One of the big changes in our family that has come from homeschooling is the way our children treat each other. We were beginning to have problems with the older two girls. The younger wanted to be with the older, who would tell her to leave her alone. The older treated the younger as a burden on her life. When we began homeschooling in Indiana, they only had each other to play with. You can’t continue treating your only playmate like dirt. When we made our decision to allow our oldest daughter to return to school, I told her that if the way she treated her family reverted back, she would be pulled out of school faster than she could blink her eyes. One thing I was not willing to sacrifice to her desire to be in school was our family unity. Thankfully, this has not happened. All of the kids do fight occasionally, but they get along well for the most part. They are learning to accept that each of us has strengths and weaknesses. As a family we encourage each other in our strengths and help each other in our weaknesses.—Beverly, Nebraska
My wife is outgoing and I’m very reserved. Emily seems to have combined both of these qualities into a safe, workable approach to life. When she encounters a new experience, she carefully checks it out, and then, when she feels safe, she dives into it. She has plenty of friends and opportunities to be out in the world. She is healthy and happy.—Doug, California
When my friends began to send their kids to nursery school, I began to get an inkling of what school socialization was about. They had various problems—bringing home rude new behaviors, bad attitudes, etc. One friend was focused on academics and sent her daughter to a slightly academic preschool. Well, her daughter began to fall behind my daughter academically; up to that point, they’d been neck and neck, only two weeks apart in age, and good friends.
My daughter is friendly, plays well with kids of all ages, plays well with her little brother. They have at times been almost inseparable, which I worried about for a second or two before realizing that it wouldn’t be that way by the time they were grown. They keep each other company, share willingly, and work together on projects. I’m thankful they’ve been able to have that experience and continue to share that bond. They are both polite (because we parents treat them politely) and are usually willing to speak clearly to anyone, adult or child.
In a way, I’d say that we don’t just have them home to shelter them from some bad experiences, but to have good experiences. If I took a seedling, put it in a greenhouse, and then slowly acclimated it to the outdoors, it would thrive well—better than one started outside in the “real” world—and better than one that was sheltered so much that the outside world was shocking. I feel we’ve got a good balance of our outside activities and friends, and lots of time to be together and do things as our interests dictate.—Grace, California
Will Homeschooling Work for You?
One of the most profound lessons schools teach us, perhaps unintentionally, is to rely on other people’s judgment of our accomplishments. Few of us get through twelve or sixteen years of schooling without being thoroughly trained to seek other people’s approval for our work. Partly this is simply human nature, the desire to have people we respect value and respect us. But all too often, after years of seeking teachers’ approval for hundreds of school assignments and validation of our accomplishments by high achievement test scores and admission to prestigious universities,