The Homeschooling Handbook_ From Preschool to High School - Mary Griffith [95]
Don’t forget that boredom can be a very useful state of mind, however. It’s often the harbinger of a growth spurt and will be followed by a child’s most amazing project to date. Or it may be an antidote to previous overactivity—a chance to veg out, recover, and assimilate what’s gone on before. Don’t be too quick to jump in with activities for the child who says she’s bored. Offering suggestions usually doesn’t work anyway, and by saying she’s bored, she may really be saying she feels she ought to want to do something “constructive” when she really feels like doing nothing. And there’s a lot to be said for learning to find one’s own way out of boredom.
Feeling Isolated
This is the big one right now. I have not been able to find my own friends, and Greg is working in another state. I feel trapped at home. There are a few things I can do about it, but I just haven’t had the energy … things will probably get better.—Lisa, Alabama
This happens, but we’re too busy to worry about it right now. My son has lots of friends on weekends and after school. Our support group keeps changing, so the problem comes and goes.—Lillian, California
I rather like isolation, as long as I’m choosing it. We plan/hope/ dream to live on a medium-size farm with neighbors we can’t see. Psychic isolation would be a problem, I think, except that I’ve found this wonderful community online.—Pam, California
Feeling isolated is why I started a support group. I know that our teenager feels isolated these days, though, because homeschooled teenagers are in short supply around here.—Barbara, California
Feeling isolated has actually been a concern of mine for Shauna, as the exodus of similar-age homeschooled friends continues. She denies any loneliness; I see it as my problem, not hers. She says she considers me one of her closest friends, and we do talk a great deal on our nightly three-mile walks. Rosie was jealous of this “alone time” and has opted to walk a last lap with me alone, to have her private talking time, too. She is likely to plan Christmas gifts or discuss meals she’d like to cook. Shauna is more into pondering the universe and discussing the behavior of other adolescents. She watches many of her acquaintances with thinly veiled horror, seeing the eating disorders, superficiality, and low self-esteem. She does know several girls from strong families who are “freethinking”—Shauna’s word for those who haven’t lost their sense of self in the maelstrom of adolescence. These girls go to either the local Lutheran private school or to public middle school, but the difference is that their parents have continued to foster closeness in the family. All have strong, confident mothers.—Carol, California
Feeling isolated, whether or not you are physically or geographically isolated, can leave you discouraged and depressed, whether it’s the kids or the parents who feel it most. You may find yourselves the only homeschoolers in your area, or the only unschoolers in a community of school-at-homers, or the only school-at-homers in a community of unschoolers. In addition to the obvious palliatives, such as reading a good homeschooling book or magazine or talking with homeschoolers in your support group (if one is available), you can try these things:
Get yourself to a good, large homeschooling conference. Seeing for yourself that there are lots of homeschoolers like you around can do wonders for your morale, and you may meet some new friends who live within a reasonable distance from you.
Don’t assume that you’ll only find the moral support you need from other homeschoolers. Sometimes a long chat with any good friend will do the trick.
Get yourself involved in some community activity you enjoy. Volunteer at the library or a food bank; join a theater or musical group; work for a political candidate. Feel a part of your community by becoming