The House at Pooh Corner - A. A. Milne [21]
“Well done, Pooh,” said Rabbit kindly. “That was a good idea of ours.”
“What was?” asked Eeyore.
“Hooshing you to the bank like that.”
“Hooshing me?” said Eeyore in surprise. “Hooshing me? You didn’t think I was hooshed, did you? I dived. Pooh dropped a large stone on me, and so as not to be struck heavily on the chest, I dived and swam to the bank.”
“You didn’t really,” whispered Piglet to Pooh, so as to comfort him.
“I didn’t think I did,” said Pooh anxiously.
“It’s just Eeyore,” said Piglet. “I thought your Idea was a very good Idea.”
Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it. And, anyhow, Eeyore was in the river, and now he wasn’t, so he hadn’t done any harm.
“How did you fall in, Eeyore?” asked Rabbit, as he dried him with Piglet’s handkerchief.
“I didn’t,” said Eeyore.
But how—”
“I was BOUNCED,” said Eeyore.
“Oo,” said Roo excitedly, “did somebody push you?”
“Somebody BOUNCED me. I was just thinking by the side of the river—thinking, if any of you know what that means, when I received a loud BOUNCE.”
“Oh, Eeyore!” said everybody.
“Are you sure you didn’t slip?” asked Rabbit wisely.
“Of course I slipped. If you’re standing on the slippery bank of a river, and somebody BOUNCES you loudly from behind, you slip. What did you think I did?”
“But who did it?” asked Roo.
Eeyore didn’t answer.
“I expect it was Tigger,” said Piglet nervously.
“But, Eeyore,” said Pooh, “was it a Joke, or an Accident? I mean—”
“I didn’t stop to ask, Pooh. Even at the very bottom of the river I didn’t stop to say to myself, ‘Is this a Hearty Joke, or is it the Merest Accident?’ I just floated to the surface, and said to myself, ‘It’s wet.’ If you know what I mean.”
“And where was Tigger?” asked Rabbit.
Before Eeyore could answer, there was a loud noise behind them, and through the hedge came Tigger himself.
“Hallo, everybody,” said Tigger cheerfully.
“Hallo, Tigger,” said Roo.
Rabbit became very important suddenly.
“Tigger,” he said solemnly, “what happened just now?”
“Just when?” said Tigger a little uncomfortably.
“When you bounced Eeyore into the river.”
“I didn’t bounce him.”
“You bounced me,” said Eeyore gruffly.
“I didn’t really. I had a cough, and I happened to be behind Eeyore, and I said ‘Grrrr—oppp—ptschschschz.’”
“Why?” said Rabbit, helping Piglet up, and dusting him. “It’s all right, Piglet.”
“It took me by surprise,” said Piglet nervously.
“That’s what I call bouncing,” said Eeyore. “Taking people by surprise. Very unpleasant habit. I don’t mind Tigger being in the Forest,” he went on, “because it’s a large Forest, and there’s plenty of room to bounce in it. But I don’t see why he should come into my little corner of it, and bounce there. It isn’t as if there was anything very wonderful about my little corner. Of course for people who like cold, wet, ugly bits it is something rather special, but otherwise it’s just a corner, and if anybody feels bouncy—”
“I didn’t bounce, I coughed,” said Tigger crossly.
“Bouncy or coffy, it’s all the same at the bottom of the river.”
“Well,” said Rabbit, “all I can say is—well, here’s Christopher Robin, so he can say it.”
Christopher Robin came down from the Forest to the bridge, feeling all sunny and careless, and just as if twice nineteen didn’t matter a bit, as it didn’t on such a happy afternoon, and he thought that if he stood on the bottom rail of the bridge, and leant over, and watched the river slipping slowly away beneath him, then he would suddenly know everything that there was to be known, and he would be able to tell Pooh, who wasn’t quite sure about some of it. But when he got to the bridge and saw all the animals there, then he knew that it wasn’t that kind of afternoon, but the other kind, when you wanted to do something.
“It’s like this, Christopher Robin,