The Illustrated Gormenghast Trilogy - Mervyn Peake [447]
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Bellgrove and his wife sat opposite one another in their living room, Irma, very upright, as was her habit, her back as straight as a yard of pump-water. There was something irritating in this unnecessary rigidity. It was, perhaps, ladylike, but it was certainly not feminine. It annoyed Bellgrove for it made him feel that there was something wrong in the way that he had always used a chair. To his mind an armchair was something to curl up in, or to drape oneself across. It was a thing for human delectation. It was not built to be perched on.
And so he curled his old spine and draped his old legs and lolled his old head, while his wife sat silently and stared at him.
‘… And why on earth should you think that he would dream of risking his life in order to attack you?’ the old man was saying. ‘You deceive yourself, Irma. Peculiar as he is, there is no reason why he should flatter you to the extent of killing you. To climb in at your bedroom window would be highly hazardous. The entire castle is on the watch for him. Do you really imagine that it matters to him whether you are alive or dead, any more than whether I am alive or dead, or that fly up there on the ceiling is alive or dead? Good grief, Irma, be reasonable if you can, if only for the sake of the love that once I bore you.’
‘There is no need for you to speak like that,’ Irma replied, in a voice as clipped as the sound of castanets. ‘Our love has nothing to do with what we are talking about. Nor is it anything to mock at. It has changed, that is all. It is no longer green.’
‘And nor am I,’ murmured Bellgrove.
‘What an obvious thing to say!’ said Irma, with forced brightness. ‘And how very trite – I said how very trite!’
‘I heard you, my dear.’
‘And this is no time for shallow talk. I have come to you as a wife should come to her husband. For guidance. Yes, for guidance. You are old, I know, but …’
‘What the hell has my age got to do with it?’ snarled Bellgrove, lifting his magnificent head from a cushion. The milk-white locks were clustered on his shoulders. ‘You were never one to ask for advice. You mean you’re terrified.’
‘That is so,’ said Irma. She said it so simply and so quietly that she did not recognize her own voice. She had spoken involuntarily. Bellgrove turned his head sharply in her direction. He could hardly believe that it was she who had spoken. He rose from his chair and crossed the ugly carpet to where she sat bolt upright. He squatted on his heels before her. A sense of pity stirred in him. He took her long hands in his.
At first she tried to withdraw them but he held them tightly. She had tried to say ‘don’t be ridiculous’ but no words came.
‘Irma,’ he said at last. ‘Let us try again. We have both changed – but that is perhaps as it should be. You have shown me sides of your nature which I never knew existed. Never. How could I ever have guessed, my dear, that you should for instance have thought that half my staff were in love with you – or that you could become so irritated with my innocent habit of falling asleep? We have our different spirits, our different needs, our different lives. We are fused, Irma, it is true; we are integrated – but not all that much. Relax your back, my dear. Relax your backbone. It makes it easier for me to talk. I’ve asked you so often – and in all humility – knowing as I do that your spine is your own.’
‘My dearest husband,’ said Irma. ‘You are talking overmuch. If you could leave a sentence alone, it would be so much stronger.’ She bowed her head to him. ‘But I will tell you something,’ she continued, ‘it makes me happy to see you there, crouched at my feet. It makes me feel young again – or