The in Death Collection Books 11-15 - J. D. Robb [464]
“Come here.”
“I don’t need reassurances, Roarke.” And she was already wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. “It just struck me, that’s all. It was sort of sad, but understandable.”
“Come here anyway.” He reached out a hand for hers, and when she took it, drew her into his lap. “I can’t imagine not wanting you so that it puts an ache inside me. Seeing you, smelling you, touching you so everything in me needs. But, if when we’re a hundred and twenty and that’s more memory than reality, I’ll still need you, Eve, a thousand ways.”
“Okay.” She brushed the hair away from his face.
“Wait. Do you remember when first I saw you. In the winter, with death between us?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“I didn’t make you for a cop. That disturbed me for some time later as I prided myself for spotting a cop at half a mile in the dark. But when I turned and looked at you, I didn’t see cop. I saw a woman. I saw the woman, though I hadn’t figured that out. I only knew that I looked, and I saw, and everything shifted. Nothing would be the same for me after that instant.”
She remembered how he had turned, looked back over the sea of mourners at a funeral, how his eyes had locked with hers as if they’d been the only ones there. And the power of that look had shaken her to her toes.
“You bothered me,” she murmured.
“I meant to. I looked, darling Eve, and saw the woman I would love, and trust, and need as I’d never expected to love or trust or need another living soul. The only woman I wanted to be with, to live with, to sleep and wake with. And a ghra, to grow old with.”
“How do you do it?” She lowered her forehead to his. “How do you always manage to say what I need to hear?”
“There are people who live out their lives together, and not just from habit or convenience or a fear of change. But from love. Maybe love has cycles. We haven’t been in it long enough to know, have we? But I know one thing utterly. I’ll love you till I die.”
“I know.” Tears brushed her cheek. “I know it because it’s the same for me. I felt sorry for that woman today because she’d lost that. She’d lost it, and didn’t even know where or when. God.” She had to take two long breaths because her throat was tight. “I was thinking about it later, thinking about what she’d said, how she’d said it. It just seemed to me that things were too easy between them, too smooth.”
“Well then.” He gave her a quick, hard squeeze. “Easy and smooth? Those are marital problems we’ll never have to worry about.”
Chapter 7
With slack jaws and shuffling feet, hundreds of commuters loaded on shuttles. Or were loaded on, Eve thought, like cargo and corpses, by the red uniformed drones and droids of Manhattan Commuter Transport Service.
The terminal was a hive of noise, a great cacophony of sound that had an insectile hum as an undertone. Over it, the incomprehensible voices of flight announcers buzzed, babies wailed, pocket-links pinged.
She wondered whose idea it was to design places like this with soaring ceilings and white walls so those who had the misfortune to use the services were like ants trapped inside a drum.
She smelled bad coffee, sweat, overpowering colognes, and what she assumed was a diaper in desperate need of changing.
“Like old times,” Feeney said after they’d managed to muscle their way on and snag two of the seats designed for the narrow asses of twelve-year-old anorexics. “Guess it’s been awhile since you used a public shuttle.”
“I thought I missed it.” She did her best to pull her face back from the parade of crotches and butts that pressed in to make the forced shuffle down the crammed aisle. “How wrong can you get?”
“Not so bad. Be there inside a half hour if they don’t screw something up.” He jiggled the sugared almonds in the bag he pulled out of his pocket. “We’d’ve shaved time off that with one of Roarke’s transpos.”
She dipped into the bag, munched, considered. “You figure I’m stupid for not using