The In Death Collection Books 6-10 - J. D. Robb [138]
And concentrating on him, on just his name, she began to calm again.
She’d chosen the sleep chair in her home office because he was off planet. She’d never been able to rest in their bed unless he was with her. The dreams came rarely if at all when he slept beside her, and all too often chased her in sleep when he didn’t.
She hated that area of weakness, of dependence, almost as much as she’d come to love the man.
Turning in the chair, she comforted herself by gathering up the fat gray cat who curled beside her, watching her out of narrowed, bicolored eyes. Galahad was accustomed to her nightmares, but he didn’t care to be wakened by them at four in the morning.
“Sorry,” she muttered as she rubbed her face against his fur. “It’s so damn stupid. He’s dead, and he’s not coming back. The dead don’t come back.” She sighed and stared into the dark. “I ought to know.”
She lived with death, worked with it, waded through it, day after day, night after night. In the final weeks of 2058, guns were banned, and medical science had learned how to prolong life to well beyond the century mark.
And man had yet to stop killing man.
It was her job to stand for the dead.
Rather than risk another trip into nightmares, she ordered the lights on and climbed out of the chair. Her legs were steady enough, and her pulse had leveled to nearly normal. The sick headache that tagged onto the coattails of her nightmares would fade, she reminded herself.
Hoping for an early breakfast, Galahad leaped off behind her, then ribboned through her legs as she moved into the kitchen area.
“Me first, pal.” She programmed the AutoChef for coffee, then set a bowl of kibble on the floor. The cat attacked it as if it were his last meal, and left her to brood out the window.
Her view was the long sweep of lawn rather than the street, and the sky was empty of traffic. She might have been alone in the city. Privacy and quiet were gifts a man of Roarke’s wealth could easily buy. But she knew beyond the beautiful grounds, over the high stone wall, life pumped. And death followed it greedily.
That was her world, she thought now as she sipped the potent coffee and worked the stiffness of a still-healing wound out of her shoulder. Petty murders, grand schemes, dirty deals, and screaming despair. She knew more of those than of the colorful swirl of money and power that surrounded her husband.
At times like this, when she was alone, when her spirits were low, she wondered how they had ever come together—the straight-arrow cop who believed unwaveringly in the lines of the law, and the slick Irishman who’d tangled with and over those lines all of his life.
Murder had brought them together, two lost souls who’d taken different escape routes to survive and, despite logic and sense, had found each other.
“Christ, I miss him. It’s ridiculous.” Annoyed with herself, she turned, intending to shower and dress. The blinking light on her tele-link signaled a muted incoming. Without a doubt who was transmitting, she leaped at it and unblocked the silent code.
Roarke’s face popped on screen. Such a face, she thought, watching as he lifted one dark eyebrow. Poetically handsome, with black hair falling long and thick to frame it. The clever, perfectly sculpted mouth, the strong bones, the shocking intensity of brilliant blue eyes.
After nearly a year, just the sight of that face could send her blood humming.
“Darling Eve.” His voice was like cream over strong Irish whiskey. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“Because I’m awake.”
She knew what he’d see as he studied her. There was so little she could hide from him. He’d see the shadows of a bad night hounding her eyes, the paleness of her skin. Uncomfortable, she shrugged and pushed a hand through her short, disordered hair. “I’m going into Cop Central early. I’ve got paperwork to catch up on.”
He saw more than she realized. When he looked at her, he saw strength, courage, pain. And a beauty—in those sharp bones, that full mouth, those steady brandy-colored