The In Death Collection Books 6-10 - J. D. Robb [378]
Absently, she reached up, soothed the memory of the ache. “Over my mouth. The shock of him pushing himself inside me. Not knowing, not knowing at first, what that meant. Except pain. Then you know what it means. You know you can’t stop it. And as much as it hurts when he beats you, you hope when you hear the door open that’s all he’ll do. Sometimes it is.”
Eyes closed now, she rested her brow on the cracked glass. “I thought maybe I’d remember something from before. Before it all started. I had to come from somewhere. Some woman had to carry me inside her the way Karen’s carrying her goddamn miracle. For God’s sake, how could she leave me with him?”
He turned her, wrapped his arms around her, drew her in. “She might not have had a choice.”
Eve swallowed back the grief and the rage, and finally the questions. “You always have a choice.” She stepped back, but kept her hands on his shoulders. “None of this matters now. Let’s go home.”
chapter eighteen
There wasn’t any point in pretending to unwind. Nor was there any point in thinking about what she had to face the next day. Work was the answer. Before she could tell Roarke her intentions, he was making arrangements to have a meal sent up to his private office.
“It makes more sense to use that equipment,” he said simply. “It’s faster, more efficient, and more thoroughly cloaked.” He arched a brow. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I want to tag Feeney first,” she began as they started upstairs. “Fill him in on my conversation with McRae.”
“I’ll input the disc he gave you while you’re doing that, do a quick cross-reference.”
“You’re almost as good as Peabody.”
He stopped at the door, grabbed her up in a steaming kiss. “You can’t get that from Peabody.”
“I could if I wanted.” But it made her grin as he uncoded the locks. “But I like you better for sex.”
“I’m relieved to hear it. Use the minilink. It’s fully jammed and untraceable.”
“What’s one more com-tech violation?” she muttered.
“That’s what I always say.” He sat behind the console, slid into the U, and got to work.
“Feeney, Dallas. I’m back from Chicago.”
“I was just about to tag you. We got a hit on the lapel pin.”
“When?”
“Just came in. Gold caduceus purchased less than one hour ago at Tiffany’s, charged to the account of Dr. Tia Wo. I’m picking Peabody up for a little overtime. We’re going to go have a chat with the doctor.”
“Good. Great.” Everything inside her yearned to be there at the sticking point. “You track Vanderhaven?”
“He’s skipping around Europe. He’s not landing. You ask me, he’s running.”
“He can’t run forever. I’m about to run some data I got from a source in Chicago. I’ll see what else we can find on her. Anything looks like weight, I’ll pass it through Peabody’s personal.”
“We’ll fill you in when we’re done. I’ve got to get moving here.”
“Good luck.”
He was already gone. She stared for a moment at the black screen, then shoved away from the console. “Goddamn it.”
She hissed, balled her fists, then snarled when the AutoChef beeped to signal meal delivery. “It’s a pisser all right,” Roarke murmured.
“It’s stupid. The point is to close the case, not to be the one to snap the locks on it.”
“The hell it isn’t.”
She looked at him, shrugged violently, then strode across the room to get the food. “Well, I’ve just got to get over it.” She grabbed a plate, dropped it noisily on a table. “I will get over it. When this is done, I might just let you pay me a maxibus load of money to refine your security. The hell with them.”
He left the computer doing its scan and rose to pour wine. “Mmm-hmm,” was his only comment.
“Why the hell should I bust my ass the way I do? Work with equipment that’s not fit for the recycling heap, play politics, take orders, log in eighteen-hour days, to have them spit in my face.”
“It’s a puzzle all right. Have some wine.”
“Yeah.” She took the glass, gulped down a healthy swallow of six-hundred-dollar-a-bottle wine like tap water, and continued to prowl. “I don’t need their stinking regulations and procedures.