The In Death Collection Books 6-10 - J. D. Robb [63]
Eve hesitated, then took the hand Mira offered. “You . . . when I remembered what had happened to me in that room in Dallas. When I remembered my father coming in drunk, raping me again, hurting me again. When I remembered killing him that night, and I told you, you said it was pointless, even wrong, to punish the child. You said”—she had to clear her throat—“you said I’d killed a monster, and that I’d made myself into something worthwhile, something I had no right to destroy because of what I’d done before.”
“You don’t still doubt that?”
Eve shook her head, though there were times, there were still times she doubted it. “Did you mean it? Do you really believe there are times, there are circumstances when taking the life of a monster is justified?”
“The state believed so until less than two decades ago when capital punishment was, yet again, abolished.”
“I’m asking you, as a person, a doctor, a woman.”
“Yes, I believe it. To survive, to protect your life or the life of another.”
“Only in self-defense?” Eve’s eyes were intense on Mira’s, reading every flicker. “Is that the only justification?”
“I couldn’t generalize in such a manner, Eve. Each circumstance, each person goes to defining the situation.”
“It used to be black and white for me,” Eve said quietly. “The law.” She held up one fist. “The breaking of it.” Then the other. On a long breath, she tapped the two fists together, held them close. “Now . . . I need to tell you about Marlena.”
Mira didn’t interrupt. She asked no questions, made no comments. It took Eve twenty minutes to tell it all. She was thorough, and made the effort to be dispassionate. Facts only, without opinion. And when she was finished, she was drained.
They sat in silence, while a few birds chattered, the fountain gurgled, and bruised clouds drifted over the sun.
“To lose a child that way,” Mira commented at length. “There is nothing worse to be faced. I can’t tell you the men who did that to her deserved to die, Eve. But I can tell you, as a woman, as a mother, that if she had been my child, I would have celebrated their deaths, and I would have sworn my gratitude to their executioner. That isn’t scientific, it isn’t the law. But it’s human.”
“I don’t know if I’m shielding Roarke because I believe what he did was justice or because I love him.”
“Why can’t it be both? Oh, you complicate things, Eve.”
“I complicate things.” She nearly laughed, and pushed up from the bench. “I have three murders that I can’t investigate in an open, logical manner unless I want to see my husband locked away for the rest of this life. I’ve involved my aide, an e-detective I barely know, and you in the duplicity, and I’m busting my ass to keep that idiot Summerset out of lockup. And I complicate things.”
“I’m not saying circumstances aren’t complicated, but there’s no reason for you to internalize as much as you do. There’s no need to try to segregate your heart from your intellect.”
Mira brushed a speck of dust from her skirt and spoke briskly. “Now, from my end of it, I’d think it best if you make an official request for Summerset to be examined. In my office, tomorrow if possible. I’ll do a complete testing scan and copy the results to you and Commander Whitney. If you can get me the data—official and otherwise—on your killer, I’ll begin a profile right away.”
“The unofficial data can’t be included in your workup.”
“Eve.” Now Mira laughed, a light, musical sound as charming as the fountain. “If I’m not skilled enough to slide such things into a psychiatric profile without being specific, then I’d best turn in my license to practice. Believe me, you’ll have your profile, and, if you’ll forgive me, it’s highly unlikely my work will be questioned by anyone.”
“I need it fast. He doesn’t wait long between rounds.”
“I’ll have it to you as quickly as possible. Accuracy is every bit as important as speed. Now, on a personal level, would you like me to speak with Roarke?”
“Roarke?”
“I can read through even your closely guarded lines, Eve. You’re worried about him. About his emotional state.