The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything - James Martin [140]
Chapter Twelve
What Should I Do?
The Ignatian Way of Making Decisions
PROBABLY THE HARDEST DECISION I’ve ever had to make as a Jesuit was the decision to stay or leave after being delayed for theology studies. I had made a lifelong vow to God, but life somehow seemed to be pulling me away from that original commitment. (The decision seems an easy one now, but like many such choices, it didn’t seem so at the time.) And I knew it would be a life-altering choice. Fortunately, my spiritual director was adept at what we Jesuits call “discernment.”
Discernment is the overall term for the decision-making practices outlined by Ignatius in the Spiritual Exercises. A Jesuit superior is considered good at discernment not only when he takes seriously the need to pray over each decision, but also when he understands the specific Ignatian techniques of coming to a good decision.
As I mentioned in the last chapter, Jesuits believe that when decisions are to be made, especially concerning assignments, a good process is essential. We also believe that if the superior and subject are both seeking to hear God’s voice, then we can rely on God’s help in the process itself. Thus, even when Jesuits are sent where they would rather not go, their disappointment is tempered if the discernment has been careful. Likewise, when they find themselves going where they want to go, if the discernment seemed shallow, there may remain a nagging doubt over whether the decision was made properly.
Our techniques for making decisions come mainly from the practices outlined in the Spiritual Exercises. Ignatius, assuming that those experiencing the Exercises were reaching a turning point in their lives, includes some superb techniques for making good choices, which we will look at in this chapter. The way of Ignatius will help you answer the question, “What should I do?”
Ignatius’s practical ways of making a choice have proven of great use to millions who have walked along his way. They can seem abstract, so I’ll use some real-life examples to illustrate what Ignatius was talking about.
INDIFFERENCE
Before entering the decision-making process, Ignatius asks us to try to be “indifferent.” In other words, try to approach the decision-making process as freely as possible. “I beg of you, my Lord, to remove anything that separates me from you, and you from me,” as Peter Favre wrote.
“Indifference” is easily misunderstood. When most people hear that word, they think not of being free, but of being bored or uninterested. Several years ago an anguished young man, just engaged, came to me with a problem: he wasn’t sure if he should continue with the wedding as planned; he was torn over whether he was ready to make a lifelong commitment. Obviously a painful dilemma. During our first conversation I said, “Well, first you have to start with indifference.”
“Indifference!” he said. “This is my life we’re talking about!”
What Ignatius meant by indifference was freedom. The freedom to approach each decision afresh. The ability to be detached from one’s initial biases and to step back, the willingness to carefully balance the alternatives. An openness to the working of God in one’s life. George E. Ganss, S.J., one of the modern translators of the Spiritual Exercises, wrote that indifference means
undetermined to one thing or option rather than another; impartial; unbiased; with decision suspended until the reasons for a wise choice are learned; still undecided.
Ganss concludes with what I conveyed, less eloquently, to the young man thinking about postponing his wedding. “In no way does it mean unconcerned or unimportant. It implies interior freedom.”
Every major decision carries some baggage. The question, “Should I marry this person?” or “Should I go on with my wedding plans?” may have in the background your fiancé(e) or your parents or your best friend pressuring you to get married. Or not to change your plans.
But while advice