The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything - James Martin [142]
Discernment has a practical end. It is not simply a way to try to find God’s will; nor is it a way just to move closer to God in prayer. Discernment helps to decide what is the best way to act. It isn’t simply about relationship with God alone; it is about living out your faith in the real world. Ignatius was a results-oriented mystic.
And, as a practical man, he was not averse to changing his mind in the face of new data.
Not long after his conversion, as I mentioned, he retired to a dank cave outside a town called Manresa. With characteristic enthusiasm, Ignatius decided that in order to throw off his former vanity, he would take the opposite tack. The formerly vain person would no longer care for his appearance, letting his hair grow wild and refusing to cut the nails on his fingers and toes. The former elegant courtier must have presented a fearsome sight.
A few months later he reverses his decision. What happened? He concluded that his austerity was doing little to help him with his ultimate goal of “helping souls.” Even though he had adopted this penance for a good reason, he abandoned it to accomplish his goals. The reasons are hard to discern: he may have felt his bizarre appearance would repel others. But whatever the motivation, he wrote, “He gave up those extremes that he had formerly practiced.”
Thereafter he would follow a path of moderation, toning down the severe religious penances popular in his day. Years later, he counseled Jesuits against undertaking similarly austere practices if they prevented working efficiently. In the Constitutions he advised Jesuits to be moderate in all things and maintain their health: eat healthy food, get good exercise, and have the proper rest in order to carry out their work. “A proper concern with the preservation of one’s health and bodily strength for the divine service is praiseworthy and should be exercised by all,” he said, quite sensibly.
A seemingly minor decision about cutting his hair was among the first of many times when Ignatius would weigh the pros and cons of a course of action and also realize the need for constant evaluation and reevaluation.
Years after his conversion, while celebrating Mass, he frequently felt overcome with emotion, often to the point of tears. But this became so physically taxing, with tears affecting his vision, that he resolved for a time to give up his Masses to regain his health, in order that he might work better. Discernment for Ignatius frequently meant changing course.
Ignatius was “indifferent” enough to learn from his experiences. The ascetic pilgrim who neglected his health could, with great freedom, change course and later counsel Jesuits to care for their own health. And one of the greatest mystics in Christian history could curtail his own time in prayer and counsel Jesuits against excessive prayer lest it take them away from their work. Reaching your goal, Ignatius realized, sometimes means changing paths. Sometimes it even means turning around.
One of his earliest companions, Jerónimo Nadal, wrote that even when it came to planning the direction of the Society of Jesus, “He was gently led where he did not know.”
A final aside before we look at his decision-making practices: for Ignatius all mature choices are between “goods.” In other words, you don’t consider something manifestly evil. So the question, “Should I punch my boss in the face because he’s a jerk?” is not worth considering. Nor is: “Should I chop down my neighbor’s maple tree if it keeps dropping those stupid leaves on my lawn that I have to rake up every Saturday?” Both are obviously bad choices, and justified though you may feel in wanting to make them, they are not the choices that Ignatius feels should be under consideration. (Then again, Ignatius was his own boss, and