The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything - James Martin [154]
Finally, the enemy acts like an army commander. This is my favorite image, and one that most likely draws on Ignatius’s military background. The army commander knows exactly where our weak spots are and targets them. The army commander, when preparing to attack a castle, makes his camp, carefully studies his target’s weaknesses and strengths, and then attacks at the weakest point.
In the same way the evil spirit “prowls around” (1 Pet. 5:8) and studies where we are weakest, where we are most likely to be tempted, even in good times. “There he attacks and tries to take us,” writes Ignatius. In other words, the evil spirit will attack where you are most vulnerable. Is your pride your weak spot? In that case, when all is going well in your life, the evil spirit will try to attack you there. “When the devil wishes to attack anyone,” Ignatius wrote elsewhere, “he first of all looks to see on what side his defenses are weakest or in worst order; then he moves up his artillery to make a breach at that spot.”
Let’s say you’ve just started to care for your aging parent, a generous act. Little by little, others start telling you how noble you are. Then you start to think, I’m doing a good deed. So far, so good. But the army commander is looking for a way to get in. So, little by little, you move from I’m doing a good job to I’m such a good person. And from there to I’m so holy. And finally to I’m much holier than everyone else. You become self-righteous, proud, and arrogant. From there you may start to judge, condemn, and even hate others who are not as “holy” as you.
What happened? You may wonder, How did I get here? The evil spirit has succeeded in finding your weak point and is winning the battle.
What’s the best defense against this? Shore up the weak parts of your spiritual castle. Pay special attention to the ways that you are tempted at your weak points, and work against those tendencies.
In time you’ll be able to predict the ways you’ll be tempted. For me, the temptations usually come in two ways: feeling lonely or worrying about my physical health. In the month before my ordination, for example, I found myself consumed with sexual desire. Then, just a week before, I ended up with a horrible virus, which plunged me into despair. It was almost comically easy to see how my weakest points were open for attack. So I shored up those points of my life, by making sure I spent time with my close friends and by reminding myself that health wasn’t the most important thing in life, and, on the day of my ordination, I marched happily up the aisle.
In time you’ll get to recognize those feelings. You’ll get to know when you’re being tempted to go down the wrong path.
The Angel of Light
That brings us to another Ignatian insight: the evil spirit can masquerade as the good spirit. That sounds like something out of a cheesy horror movie, but it’s a clearheaded insight into human nature. Simply put, it means that things that seem good to us can take a dramatically wrong turn and mask something darker. The evil spirit, says Ignatius, “takes on the appearance of an angel of light.”
Let’s take the case of a father who decides that he is going to pray more. He thinks he is doing this to be more contemplative and more loving as a husband and father. But perhaps his motives are not so pure. Perhaps unconsciously he wants to escape from his family. Gradually he becomes so consumed with his desire for prayer that he starts neglecting his wife and his children. Soon he grows bitter and resentful whenever his precious time in prayer is interrupted. “Get out!” he yells to his children, “I’m praying!” The evil spirit has subtly taken on the guise of the good spirit to draw the person into an attitude of bitterness.
Ignatius puts it this way: “[The evil spirit] brings good and holy thoughts attractive