The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything - James Martin [174]
Christian Failure
St. Francis Xavier died on a small island six miles off the coast of China, his ultimate destination in sight. Not having reached his goal, Xavier felt himself something of a failure. Here is Walter Burghardt, in his book Saints and Sanctity, reflecting on times of failure even after we have worked hard.
This is dreadfully difficult for a human being to accept— even for a Xavier. Just because I am trying to do God’s work with every ounce of my being is no guarantee that my plans will prosper. There is no guarantee that an effective Christian apostle will not be cut down in his prime. . . . There is no guarantee that because you have given yourself to a Christian marriage, your oneness will be lasting . . . that because you love God deeply, you will not lose your job, your home, your family, your health. . . . There is no guarantee that because you believe, you will not doubt; because you hope, you will not despond; because you love, your love will not grow cold. There is no guarantee that a Xavier will reach China. In this sense there is a Christian frustration, a Christian failure. . . .
You do your Christian task as God gives you to see it; the rest, the increase, is in His hands. God still uses what the world calls foolish to shame the wise, still uses what the world calls weak to shame its strength, still uses what the world calls low and insignificant and unreal to nullify its realities. . . . In this sense, there is no Christian frustration and no Christian failure.
The third aspect is reliance on God.
St. Ignatius was a hard worker who nonetheless knew that everything he had accomplished was thanks to God. This attitude is freeing, since we recognize that we’re not working on our own, we have a partner in our labors, and, moreover, we cannot do everything on our own. Jim’s experience with Carol is a reminder of this: he couldn’t “save” her. Relying on God brings both humility and freedom. As my spiritual director said, “There is a Messiah, and it’s not you.”
God could do precious little if He could not sustain me one more day.
—St. Claude La Colombière, S.J. (1641–1682)
Those are a few ways that the way of Ignatius can help you in your work, as you live out your vocation in the world.
But vocation is not just about working. It’s also about being. It’s not just about what you do, but, more important, who you are. So let’s look at the question “Who should I be?”
BE WHO YOU IS!
Each of us is called to a unique vocation in life, based on the desires that God plants within us, as well as our talents, skills, and personalities. This is one reason why Ignatius speaks of a God who wants to enter into a deep relationship with us and of the Creator’s dealing “immediately with the creature.” God knows that our deepest desires are those that will bring joy to us and to the world.
But this is about more than just work, a job, or even a career. Vocation may have little to do with one’s actual work. For the deepest vocation is to become who you are, to become your “true self,” the person whom God created and calls you to be.
Part of this path is accepting that God loves us already. That God loves us as we are. Man or woman, young or old, wealthy or poor, we are all loved by God. No matter how you see yourself, God sees you as his beloved. Hard to believe? Then let me tell you a story about acceptance.
WONDERFULLY MADE
Rick Curry is a gregarious and quick-witted Jesuit who founded the National Theatre Workshop of the Handicapped. He also received his doctorate in theater studies (and is the one who introduced me to the history of “Jesuit theater”). Rick, who was born without a right arm, entered the Jesuits after high school. For a time he was an actor. The genesis of the National Theater Workshop came when Rick went to audition for a commercial.
When he met the casting agent in her office, she noticed his one arm and said, “Is this a joke? Who sent you?” And he said, “What do you mean? I’m here for the audition.”