The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything - James Martin [29]
Sometimes a Jesuit might find himself lacking the desire for something that he wants to desire. Let’s say you are living in a comfortable Jesuit community and have scant contact with the poor. You may say, “I know I’m supposed to want to live simply and work with the poor, but I have no desire to do this.” Or perhaps you know that you should want to be more forgiving of someone in the community, but you don’t desire it. How can you pray for that with honesty?
In reply, Ignatius would ask, “Do you have the desire for this desire?” Even if you don’t want it, do you want to want it? Do you wish that you were the kind of person that wanted this? Even this can be seen as an invitation from God. It is a way of glimpsing God’s invitation even in the faintest traces of desire.
Some people find that their deep desires are difficult to identify. What then? Margaret Silf, an English spiritual writer, retreat director, and popular lecturer, provides one answer in her book Inner Compass: An Invitation to Ignatian Spirituality.
She suggests two ways that you may come to know your hidden desires. One is “Outside In”; the other “Inside Out.” The Outside-In approach considers those desires already present, which may point to deeper ones. Desires like “I want a new job” or “I want to move” may signify a longing for greater overall freedom.
The Inside-Out approach uses archetypal stories as signposts to your desires. What fairy tales, myths, stories, films, or novels appealed to you when you were young? The same could be asked about stories from your sacred Scriptures. Are you drawn toward the story of Moses’ freeing the Hebrew slaves? Or Jesus’ healing the blind man? Why? Might these real-life stories hold clues about your holy desires?
Desire is a key part of Ignatian spirituality because desire is a key way that God’s voice is heard in our lives. And ultimately our deepest desire, planted within us, is our desire for God.
EXPERIENCES OF THE DESIRE FOR GOD
Maybe you’re surprised by the notion that everyone has an innate desire for God. If you’re an agnostic, you might believe that intellectually but haven’t experienced it yourself. If you’re an atheist, you might flat-out disbelieve it.
So for the disbelieving, the doubtful, and the curious (and everyone else, for that matter), let’s turn to how these holy desires manifest themselves in everyday life. What do they look like? What do they feel like? How can you become aware of your desires for God?
Here are some of the most common ways that our holy desires reveal themselves. As you read, you might take a moment and consider which have been at work in your own life.
Incompletion
Many of us have had the feeling that, even though we have had some success and happiness, there is something missing in life. Way back in the 1960s Peggy Lee sang “Is That All There Is?” In the 1980s, U2 sang “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” We all feel that restlessness, the nagging feeling that there must be something more to life than our day-to-day existence.
Feelings of incompletion may reflect dissatisfaction with our daily lives and point us to something that needs to be rectified. If we are trapped in a miserable job, a dead-end relationship, or an unhealthy family situation, it might be time to think about serious change. Dissatisfaction doesn’t have to be stoically endured; it can lead to a decision, change, and a more fulfilled life.
Yet no matter how happy our lives are, part of this restlessness never goes away; in fact, it provides a glimpse of our longing for God. “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you,” as Augustine wrote, 1,500 years before Peggy Lee and Bono. This longing is a sign of the longing of the human heart for God. It is one of the most profound ways that God has of calling us. In the echoes of our restlessness we hear God’s voice.
Sometimes those feelings are stronger than simple