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By Root 287 0

abandoned his reading, removed his glasses, and rubbed his eyes irritably. The thoughts rattling around in his head filled him with bitterness. It was his mother, as always, who was worrying him; he dreaded the decision he had to make. One of his friends, a doctor, had strongly advised him to put the old woman in a clinic where she would receive state-of-the-art care. There was a slim chance that her condition might improve—but was a slim chance worth the anguish of separation? The clinic was fairly distant from the city, and he would be able to visit her only rarely. It was a proposal that Urfy stubbornly rejected. Transferring his mother into the care of strangers would feel like abandonment. Little by little, she’d start to forget him: his image would vanish into the folds of her wavering memory and in the end he would be extinct in her heart. And this flame that still burned in his mother’s spirit, the last trace of the happiness of his childhood, was his only safeguard against an atrocious world. He suppressed the tears that were rising to his eyes and put his glasses back on. When he was ready to start reading again, he realized that the light had disappeared and he could no longer see a thing.

Heykal’s arrival in the classroom startled him—as if he were an enemy who had sprung out of the darkness to attack. Heykal was the last person he wanted to see, since he more than anyone couldn’t have cared less about the situation. Heykal’s humor and irony would force Urfy to behave in a way that was incompatible with the torture he was undergoing. He needed calm and solitude. But he overcame his feelings of revulsion at the intrusion, and descended from the podium to greet his guest.

“Welcome,” he said.

“Hello,” Heykal responded. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I had to see you.”

“You’re not disturbing me at all,” Urfy said quickly. “I was just reading, but I noticed it was getting too dark. Wait here, and I’ll go get a light.”

“Oh, no!” protested Heykal. “It’s fine like this. We don’t need a light.”

Urfy didn’t insist. His visitor’s desire corresponded exactly to his own wish to remain in the dark. What he was most afraid of was that Heykal, with his sharp eye, would discern his distress. He didn’t want to talk about his mother, not at any price, and he didn’t want to discuss the horrible dilemma he faced. This was his own private ordeal, a sacred destiny, and he would hate to see his pain picked over by impious hands. But as soon as he smelled the odor of jasmine emanating from the young man he knew that he wouldn’t escape the thing he feared most. He knew Heykal’s crazy ways. The bouquet was in the inside pocket of his jacket; he was sure to take it out at some point to offer it to the old madwoman. He must be intending to visit her in her room. These meetings between Heykal and his mother terrified Urfy. There was something bizarre, almost insane, about them. It strained his nerves terribly—already he trembled at the prospect.

“Sit down,” he said, indicating one of the benches and taking a seat across the aisle. “I hope it isn’t bad news that brings you.”

“On the contrary. Urfy, my brother, it’s a time to rejoice! The governor is ruined.”

“It’s in the papers?”

“Not yet. But the news came from a reliable source. You can believe me.”

“What happened?”

“It’s very simple. As I predicted, the prime minister demanded his resignation. In a week, we’ll be rid of him.”

Urfy didn’t feel like rejoicing. What did the governor’s ruin matter to him; it couldn’t make up for his own ruin. He could find nothing to say that suggested happiness, or even satisfaction. Everything in him was inert; everything boiled down to suffering. But he mustn’t disappoint Heykal by keeping silent. And yet in spite of his efforts his voice was bitter when he spoke:

“It’s everything you hoped for, isn’t it?”

Heykal seemed not to have heard; his face remained immobile as it slowly disappeared into darkness. By now Urfy could barely make out his features, and he was growing ever more uncomfortable. What if he burst into laughter? He shuddered