The Judy Moody Double-Rare Collection - Megan Mcdonald [21]
“I’m scared.”
“Of what? Mrs. Bell?”
“No.”
“A shot?”
“No.”
“Getting lost?”
“No.”
“For-real mumps? A pill? Throwing up?”
“No. No. And not really.”
“What? What are you scared of?”
“The skeleton! In the nurse’s office.”
“Stink! It’s not even real!”
Stink’s face crumpled like he was going to cry. “The office lady told me to wait till Mrs. Bell gets here, but I was in there all by myself. With it.”
“I’ll take you, if you promise not to be mad about the bellybutton.”
Judy got a pass from Mr. Todd, then walked Stink down the hall and around the corner to the nurse’s office. Stink pointed to the skeleton in the corner.
“Pretend he’s not there, Stink. Sit on the edge of the bed. I’ll be the doctor while we wait for Mrs. Bell. So, what seems to be the problem?”
“When I woke up this morning, I just had hiccups and a loose tooth. Now my throat hurts.”
Judy picked up a flashlight from the desk and shined it in Stink’s eyes.
“Hey, now my eyes hurt, too!”
“Does your face hurt?”
“Nope.”
“It’s killing me!” Judy cracked herself up. “Let’s see your throat.” She shined the light down his throat. “Say ahh!”
“Glub!” said Stink.
“Not glub. Ahhhhh! Try again.”
“Slug!”
“Never mind,” said Judy.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, you DON’T have a frog in your throat. Just a glub and a slug.” Judy held her head sideways, thinking. She looked Stink up and down.
“Do you have a pain in your neck, too?” asked Stink.
“Just you,” said Judy. She cracked herself up some more. “Wait a minute! Stink! I got it! I know what you have!”
“What?” asked Stink.
“Skeleton-itis!” said Judy. “Fear-of-Skeletons disease. Found only in second graders with glubby slugs in their throats.”
“I can’t help it. He just stares . . . with those eyes! It’s creepier than that pyramid eye on a one-dollar bill.”
“Stink, skeletons don’t have eyes.”
“I know! Just big spooky holes like dead people. And he’s all clickety-clackety.”
Judy picked up the skeleton from where he was hanging in the corner. “Hi! I’m Mr. DryBones!” Judy clacked the skeleton’s jaw open and shut. “You can call me George. See? He teaches you about your bones and stuff.” Judy made the skeleton wave at Stink.
Stink did not wave back. “You’re giving me goose bumps. Put him back before we get in trouble.”
“Not till he tells some jokes. Here, I’ll practice some jokes I’m learning for my Human Body project. Mr. DryBones likes jokes, don’t you?” Judy said to the skeleton. “They tickle his funny bone!”
Stink cracked up.
“What does a skeleton take for a cold?” asked Judy.
“What?”
“Coffin drops!”
Stink laughed at that one.
“What do skeletons put on their mashed potatoes?”
“Umm . . .”
“Grave-y!”
“What do you call a skeleton who sleeps all day?”
“Sleepyhead?”
“Lazybones!” Judy cackled.
“How does a skeleton pass his math test?”
“How?”
“He bones up on his addition and subtraction.”
“Fun-ny!” Stink laughed and laughed. He seemed to forget all about his sore throat. And Fear-of-Skeletons disease.
“What does a skeleton eat for breakfast?” asked Mrs. Bell, setting her purse down on the desk.
“I don’t know? What?”
“Scream of wheat!”
“Good one!” said Stink. He held his stomach, he was laughing so hard.
“I see you’ve met George,” said Mrs. Bell. “I had to go to another school this morning. So it’s just my skeleton crew here today.”
“Hey, that’s good!” said Judy. “I was just, um, helping Stink until you got here.”
“Old Mr. DryBones is very humerus,” said Mrs. Bell. She cracked herself up. “Humerus. That’s the name of this long bone right here in your upper arm.”
“Cool beans!” said Judy.
“Oh, I get it now!” said Stink, cracking up too.
“See, Stink? I told you he wasn’t scary.”
“Don’t worry,” Mrs. Bell said to Stink. “Lots of people find bones scary. Did you know even elephants are afraid of bones?”
“Really?” asked Stink.
“Bones are interesting, really. We start out with over three hundred bones when we’re born, and when we grow up we have —”
“Only two hundred and six!” said Judy. “We just learned that in Mr. Todd’s class.”
“How do we lose so many bones?” asked Stink.
“Some