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The Judy Moody Double-Rare Collection - Megan Mcdonald [9]

By Root 120 0
weather reports. Who wants to be our meteorologist for the day? Any predictions?”

Weather report from Antarctica: Cloudy with a chance of never getting a Thomas Jefferson sticker.

On the way back to her seat, Jessica Finch asked Judy, “How was Antarctica?”

“Long,” said Judy.

What did Jessica Finch care anyway? She probably knew how to spell Antarctica. Even without sleeping on the dictionary.

Judy grumped. Judy slumped. Judy Moody was down in the dumps. The dumpiest. She, Madame M for Mistake, could not predict the future — her own or anybody else’s. She could not even predict one hour from now. Not one minute. Not one second. The future was un-predictable.

That did it. Judy decided then and there she would give up predicting the future. Forever. She had the Moody blues, the Judy-Moodiest.

She dragged herself to the water fountain at afternoon recess.

“Hel-lo? Judy? What is wrong with you?” asked Jessica Finch.

“I’m a flop. A big fat fake. I can’t tell the future. Just call me Madame Phoney-Baloney.”

“Okay, Madame Phoney-Baloney!” said Jessica Finch. She laughed like a hyena. “If you say so. But I know something that tells the future. You can ask a question and it’s N-E-V-E-R wrong.”

Judy sprayed herself with water. How did Jessica Finch know so much about future-telling? “Really?”

“Really.”

“Never?”

“Never!” said Jessica. “I’ll bring it tomorrow. Think of something you want to ask. Something on your mind. Something that’s been bugging you — a V.I.Q.”

“V.I.Q.?”

“Very Important Question,” said Jessica.


Judy could hardly wait. She could hardly think about anything else. She could hardly sleep, even without the fat red dictionary under her pillow.

Judy thought and thought. She thought about something that had been on her mind. She thought about something that had been bugging her. She came up with a very important V.I.Q.


Judy got to school early Thursday morning. She rushed up to Jessica Finch. “Did you bring it? Did you?”

Jessica opened her pink plastic backpack and took out a bright yellow ball with a big smiley face on the outside. “Magic 8 Ball!” said Jessica.

“That’s not a Magic 8 Ball,” said Judy.

“Is too,” said Jessica. “I’ll show you.”

“Will I always be the best speller at Virginia Dare School?” Jessica asked the Magic 8 Ball. The answer appeared in the window on a little triangle floating in blue liquid.

You’re a winner.

“See? You try,” said Jessica.

Judy decided to ask a practice question first. “Will my mood ring ever turn purple?” Judy shook the ball.

You look marvelous.

“Try again,” said Jessica.

“Will my mood ring ever turn purple?”

Nice outfit.

“You’re not asking right,” said Jessica.

Judy shook the ball extra hard. “Will I be a doctor someday?”

Pure genius.

“Will I ever get a 110% Thomas Jefferson sticker on my spelling test?

You’re 100% fun.

“Will Mom and Dad be mad about my spelling test?”

Your breath is so minty!

“These aren’t answers,” said Judy. “Why is it saying all goopy stuff?”

“It’s the Happy 8 Ball,” said Jessica. “It only gives you good answers.”

“No fair!” said Judy. “The Happy 8 Ball is a fake!”

“A good fake,” said Jessica.

“I’m not going to ask my V.I.Q. I’ll get a good answer, no matter what.”

“Exactly,” said Jessica.

“How can you believe what the Happy 8 Ball predicts if it just says goopy, good stuff all the time?” asked Judy.

“I don’t care,” said Jessica. “I like the Happy 8 Ball.”

“I need an Un-happy 8 Ball!” said Judy. “The one that doesn’t lie.”

And she knew just where to get it.


Judy talked Rocky and Frank into going with her to Vic’s Mini-Mart after school. Stink came too.

“I hope you’re not getting a fake hand to play another trick on me,” said Stink.

“No,” said Judy. “I’m getting a crystal ball.”

When they got to Vic’s, Judy led them all to the toy section. They saw troll doll trading cards, an eyeball piggy bank, and some cat erasers. Then Judy spied one. A black ball with the real number 8 on it in a white circle.

“Magic 8 Ball!” said Judy. “The real one.”

“That crystal ball is plastic,” said Stink.

“It still tells

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