The Key to Rebecca - Ken Follett [79]
Then he had it. It had been hatred.
She hated him. But he was nothing to her, nothing but a British officer. Therefore she hated the British. And her hatred had given her strength.
Suddenly Vandam was tired. He sat down heavily on a bench in the corridor. From where was he to draw strength? It was easy to be strong if you were insane, and in Sonja’s hatred there had been a hint of something a little crazy. He had no such refuge. Calmly, rationally, he considered what was at stake. He imagined the Nazis marching into Cairo; the Gestapo in the streets; the Egyptian Jews herded into concentration camps; the Fascist propaganda on the wireless...
People like Sonja looked at Egypt under British rule and felt that the Nazis had already arrived. It was not true, but if one tried for a moment to see the British through Sonja’s eyes it had a certain plausibility: the Nazis said that Jews were subhuman, and the British said that blacks were like children; there was no freedom of the press in Germany, but there was none in Egypt either; and the British, like the Germans, had their political police. Before the war Vandam had sometimes heard Hitler’s politics warmly endorsed in the officers’ mess: they disliked him, not because he was a Fascist, but because he had been a corporal in the Army and a house painter in civilian life. There were brutes everywhere, and sometimes they got into power, and then you had to fight them.
It was a more rational philosophy than Sonja’s, but it just was not inspirational.
The anesthetic in his face was wearing off. He could feel a sharp, clear line of pain across his cheek, like a new burn. He realized he also had a headache. He hoped Jakes would be a long time arranging Sonja’s release, so that he could sit on the bench a little while longer.
He thought of Billy. He did not want the boy to miss him at breakfast. Perhaps I’ll stay awake until morning, then take him to school, then go home and sleep, he thought. What would Billy’s life be like under the Nazis? They would teach him to despise the Arabs. His present teachers were no great admirers of African culture, but at least Vandam could do a little to make his son realize that people who were different were not necessarily stupid. What would happen in the Nazi classroom when he put up his hand and said: “Please, sir, my dad says a dumb Englishman is no smarter than a dumb Arab”?
He thought of Elene. Now she was a kept woman, but at least she could choose her lovers, and if she didn’t like what they wanted to do in bed she could kick them out. In the brothel of a concentration camp she would have no such choice... He shuddered.
Yes. We’re not very admirable, especially in our colonies, but the Nazis are worse, whether the Egyptians know it or not. It is worth fighting. In England decency is making slow progress; in Germany it’s taking a big step backward. Think about the people you love, and the issues become clearer.
Draw strength from that. Stay awake a little longer. Stand up.
He stood up.
Jakes came back.
Vandam said: “She’s an Anglophobe.”
“I beg your pardon, sir?”
“Sonja. She hates the British. I don’t believe Wolff was a casual pickup. Let’s go.”
They walked out of the building together. Outside it was still dark. Jakes said: “Sir, you’re very tired—”
“Yes. I’m very tired. But I’m still thinking straight, Jakes. Take me to the main police station.”
“Sir.”
They pulled away. Vandam handed his cigarette case and lighter