The Killer Angels - Michael Shaara [15]
Kilrain announced, “Courier, sir.”
Chamberlain rose, excused himself, stepped out into the sunlight. A bright-cheeked lieutenant, just dismounted, saluted him briskly.
“Colonel Chamberlain, sir, Colonel Vincent wishes to inform you that the corps is moving out at once and that you are instructed to take the advance. The Twentieth Maine has been assigned to the first position in line. You will send out flankers and advance guards.”
“My compliments to the Colonel.” Chamberlain saluted, turned to Kilrain and Ellis Spear, who had come up. “You heard him, boys. Get the regiment up. Sound the General, strike the tents.” Back inside the tent, he said cheerfully to Bucklin, “We’re moving out. You better go hurry up your eating. Tell your men I’ll be over in a minute. I’ll think on what you said.”
Bucklin slipped by him, went away. Chamberlain thought: We’re first in line.
“Kilrain.”
The former sergeant was back.
“Sir.”
“Where we headed.?”
“West, sir. Pennsylvania somewhere. That’s all I know.”
“Listen, Buster. You’re a private now and I’m not supposed to keep you at headquarters in that rank. If you want to go on back to the ranks, you just say so, because I feel obligated—well, you don’t have to be here, but listen, I need you.”
“Then I’ll be stayin’, Colonel, laddie.” Kilrain grinned.
“But you know I can’t promote you. Not after that episode with the bottle. Did you have to pick an officer?”
Kilrain grinned. “I was not aware of rank, sir, at the time. And he was the target which happened to present itself.”
“Buster, you haven’t got a bottle about?”
“Is the Colonel in need of a drink, sir?”
“I meant … forget it. All right, Buster, move ’em out.”
Kilrain saluted, grinning, and withdrew. The only professional in the regiment. The drinking would kill him. Well. He would die happy. Now. What do I say to them?
Tom came in, saluted.
“The men from the Second Maine are being fed, sir.”
“Don’t call me sir.”
“Well, Lawrence, Great God A-Mighty—”
“You just be careful of that name business in front of the men. Listen, we don’t want anybody to think there’s favoritism.”
Tom put on the wounded look, face of the ruptured deer.
“General Meade has his son as his adjutant.”
“That’s different. Generals can do anything. Nothing quite so much like God on earth as a general on a battlefield.” The tent was coming down about his head; he stepped outside to avoid the collapse. The general and God was a nice parallel. They have your future in their hands and they have all power and know all. He grinned, thinking of Meade surrounded by his angelic staff: Dan Butterfield, wild Dan Sickles. But what do I say?
“Lawrence, what you goin’ to do?”
Chamberlain shook his head. The Regiment was up and moving.
“God, you can’t shoot them. You do that, you’ll never go back to Maine when the war’s over.”
“I know that.” Chamberlain meditated. “Wonder if they do?”
He heard a flare of bugles, looked down the road toward Union Mills. The next regiment, the 83rd Pennsylvania, was up and forming. He saw wagons and ambulances moving out into the road. He could feel again the yellow heat. Must remember to cover up. More susceptible to sunstroke now. Can’t afford a foggy head. He began to walk slowly toward the grove of trees.
Kilrain says tell the truth.
Which is?
Fight. Or we’ll shoot you.
Not true. I won’t shoot anybody.
He walked slowly out into the sunlight. He thought: But the truth is much more than that. Truth is too personal. Don’t know if I can express it. He paused in the heat. Strange thing. You would die for it without further question, but you had a hard time talking about it. He shook his head. I’ll wave no more flags for home. No tears for Mother. Nobody ever died for apple pie.
He walked slowly toward the dark grove. He had a complicated brain and there were things going on back there from time to time that he only dimly understood, so he relied on his instincts, but he was learning all the time. The faith itself was simple: he believed in the dignity of man. His ancestors were Huguenots, refugees of a chained and bloody Europe.