The Knights [18]
CLEON
Hold, here is a piece of good rich cake.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
But I offer you an entire cake.
CLEON
But you cannot offer him stewed hare as I do.
SAUSAGE-SELLER (aside)
Ah! great gods! stewed hare! where shall I find it? Oh! brain of
mine, devise some trick!
CLEON (showing him the hare)
Do you see this, you rogue?
SAUSAGE-SELLER (pretending to look afar)
A fig for that! Here are some people coming to seek me. They are
envoys, bearing sacks bulging with money.
CLEON
(Hearing money mentioned CLEON turns his head, and the
SAUSAGE-SELLER seizes the opportunity to snatch away the stewed hare.)
Where, where, I say?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Bah! What's that to you? Will you not even now let the strangers
alone? Dear Demos, do you see this stewed hare which I bring you?
CLEON
Ah! rascal! you have shamelessly robbed me.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
You have robbed too, you robbed the Laconians at Pylos.
DEMOS
Please tell me, how did you get the idea to filch it from him?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
The idea comes from the goddess; the theft is all my own.
CLEON
And I had taken such trouble to catch this hare and I was the
one who had it cooked.
DEMOS (to CLEON)
Get you gone! My thanks are only for him who served it.
CLEON
Ah! wretch! you have beaten me in impudence!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Well then, Demos, say now, who has treated you best, you and
your stomach? Decide!
DEMOS
How shall I act here so that the spectators shall approve my
judgment?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will tell you. Without saying anything, go and rummage through
my basket, and then through the Paphlagonian's, and see what is in
them; that's the best way to judge.
DEMOS
Let us see then, what is there in yours?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Why, it's empty, dear little father; I have brought everything
to you.
DEMOS
This is a basket devoted to the people.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Now hunt through the Paphlagonian's. (Pause, as Demos does so)
Well?
DEMOS
Oh! what a lot of good things! Why it's quite full! Oh! what a
huge great part of this cake he kept for himself! He had only cut
off the least little tiny piece for me.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
But this is what he has always done. Of everything he took, he
only gave you the crumbs, and kept the bulk.
DEMOS (to CLEON)
Oh! rascal! was this the way you robbed me? And I was loading
you with chaplets and gifts!
CLEON
I robbed for the public weal.
DEMOS (to CLEON)
Give me back that crown; I shall give it to him.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Return it quick, quick, you gallows-bird.
CLEON
No, for the Pythian oracle has revealed to me the name of him
who shall overthrow me.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And that name was mine, nothing can be clearer.
CLEON
Reply and I shall soon see whether you are indeed the man whom the
god intended. Firstly, what school did you attend when a child?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
It was in the kitchens, where I was taught with cuffs and blows.
CLEON
What's that you say? (aside) Ah! this is truly what the oracle
said.
(To the SAUSAGE-SELLER) And what did you learn from the master of
exercises?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I learnt to take a false oath without a smile, when I had stolen
something.
CLEON (frightened; aside)
Oh! Phoebus Apollo, god of Lycia! I am undone! (To the
SAUSAGE-SELLER) And when you had become a man, what trade did you
follow?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I sold sausages and did a bit of fornication.
CLEON (in consternation; aside)
Oh! my god! I am a lost man! Ah! still one slender hope remains.
(to the SAUSAGE-SELLER) Tell me, was it on the market-place or near
the gates that you sold your sausages?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Near the gates, in the market for salted goods.
CLEON (in tragic despair)