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The Knights [5]

By Root 196 0
tricks; it's an old plot resoled.

SAUSAGE-SELLER

If you know naught of soling, I understand nothing of sausages;

you, who cut bad leather on the slant to make it look stout and

deceive the country yokels. They had not worn it a day before it had

stretched some two spans.

DEMOSTHENES

That's the very trick he played on me; both my neighbours and my

friends laughed heartily at me, and before I reached Pergasae I was

swimming in my shoes.

CHORUS (singing)

Have you not always shown that blatant impudence, which is the

sole strength of our orators? You push it so far, that you, the head

of the State, dare to milk the purses of the opulent aliens and, at

sight of you, the son of Hippodamus melts into tears. But here is

another man who gives me pleasure, for he is a much greater rascal

than you; he will overthrow you; 'tis easy to see, that he will beat

you in roguery, in brazenness and in clever turns. Come, you, who have

been brought up among the class which to-day gives us all our great

men, show us that a liberal education is mere tomfoolery.

SAUSAGE-SELLER

Just hear what sort of fellow that fine citizen is.

CLEON

Will you not let me speak?

SAUSAGE-SELLER

Assuredly not, for I too am an awful rascal.

DEMOSTHENES

If he does not give in at that, tell him your parents were awful

rascals too.

CLEON

Once more, will you let me speak?

SAUSAGE-SELLER

No, by Zeus!

CLEON

Yes, by Zeus, you shall!

SAUSAGE-SELLER

No, by Posidon! We will fight first to see who shall speak first.

CLEON

I will die sooner.

SAUSAGE-SELLER

I will not let you....

DEMOSTHENES

Let him, in the name of the gods, let him die.

CLEON

What makes you so bold as to dare to speak to my face?

SAUSAGE-SELLER

Because I know both how to speak and how to cook.

CLEON

Hah! the fine speaker! Truly, if some business matter fell your

way, you would know thoroughly well how to attack it, to carve it up

alive! Shall I tell you what has happened to you? Like so many others,

you have gained some petty lawsuit against some alien. Did you drink

enough water to inspire you? Did you mutter over the thing

sufficiently through the night, spout it along the street, recite it

to all you met? Have you bored your friends enough with it? And for

this you deem yourself an orator. You poor fool!

SAUSAGE-SELLER

And what do you drink yourself then, to be able all alone by

yourself to dumbfound and stupefy the city so with your clamour?

CLEON

Can you match me with a rival? Me? When I have devoured a good hot

tunny-fish and drunk on top of it a great jar of unmixed wine. I say

"to Hell with the generals of Pylos!"

SAUSAGE-SELLER

And I, when I have bolted the tripe of an ox together with a sow's

belly and swallowed the broth as well, I am fit, though slobbering

with grease, to bellow louder than all orators and to terrify Nicias.

DEMOSTHENES

I admire your language so much; the only thing I do not approve is

that you swallow all the broth yourself.

CLEON

Even though you gorged yourself on sea-dogs, you would not beat

the Milesians.

SAUSAGE-SELLER

Give me a bullock's breast to devour, and I am a man to traffic in

mines.

CLEON

I will rush into the Senate and set them all by the ears.

SAUSAGE-SELLER

And I will pull out your arse to stuff like a sausage.

CLEON

As for me, I will seize you by the rump and hurl you head foremost

through the door.

DEMOSTHENES

By Posidon, only after you have thrown me there first.

CLEON

(Beginning another crescendo of competitive screeching)

Beware of the carcan!

SAUSAGE-SELLER

I denounce you for cowardice.

CLEON

I will tan your hide.

SAUSAGE-SELLER

I will flay you and make a thief's pouch with the skin.

CLEON
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