The Land of Painted Caves - Jean M. Auel [123]
“You’re right. I never thought of making a Journey until he decided to go. Visiting the Lanzadonii was far enough for me.”
“Why did you decide to go with him?” Zelandoni asked.
“I don’t know if I can explain it,” Jondalar said. “He was always fun to be around, so I knew it would be easy traveling with him, and he did make the trip sound exciting, but I didn’t think we’d go as far as we did. I think part of it was that sometimes he could be a little reckless and I felt a need to look out for him. He was my brother and I think I loved him more than anyone I knew. I knew I’d come home someday, if it was possible, and I felt that if I was with him, he’d come back home with me, eventually. I don’t know … something was pulling me,” Jondalar said. He glanced at Ayla, who had been listening even more intently than Zelandoni.
He didn’t know it, but my totem and maybe the Mother pulled him, Ayla thought. He had to come and find me.
“What about Marona? Obviously you didn’t feel enough for her to make you want to stay. Did she have anything to do with your decision to go?” the First asked. This was the first time since his return that the Donier had an opportunity to really talk to him about why he took his long Journey, and she was going to take advantage of it. “What would you have done if Thonolan had not decided to make a Journey?”
“I guess I would have gone to the Summer Meeting and probably mated Marona,” Jondalar said. “Everyone expected it, and there wasn’t anyone I cared for more, at that time.” He looked up and smiled at Ayla. “But to be honest, I wasn’t thinking about her when I decided to go, I was worried about mother. I think she guessed Thonolan might not return, and I was afraid she might worry that I wouldn’t either. I did plan to come back, but you never know. Anything can happen on a Journey, and many things did, but I knew Willamar wouldn’t be going away, and she had Folara and Joharran.”
“What makes you think Marthona did not expect Thonolan to return?” the First asked.
“It was something that she said to us when we left to go visit Dalanar. Thonolan was the one who noticed it. Mother said ‘Good Journey’ to him, not ‘Until you return,’ as she did to me. And remember when we first told mother and Willamar about Thonolan? Willamar said that mother never expected him to return, and as I feared, she was afraid I wouldn’t come back either when she found out I had gone with him. She said she was afraid she had lost two sons,” Jondalar said.
That was why he couldn’t stay with the Sharamudoi when Tholie and Markeno asked us to, Ayla thought. They were so welcoming and I had grown so fond of them during our visit, I wanted to stay, but Jondalar couldn’t. Now I know why, and I’m glad we came all the way back. Marthona treats me like a daughter and a friend, and so does Zelandoni. I really like Folara, and Proleva and Joharran, and many others. Not everyone, but most people have been nice.
“Marthona was right,” Zelandoni said. “Thonolan was favored with many Gifts, and he was greatly loved. Many people used to say he was a favorite of the Mother. I never like it when people say that, but in his case it was prophetic. The other side of being one of Her favorites is that She can’t stand to be separated from them for too long and tends to take Her favorites back early, when they are still young. You were gone so long, I wondered if you were a little too favored, also.”
“I didn’t think I’d be gone five years,” Jondalar said.
“Most people doubted that you or Thonolan would ever return