The Last Chronicle of Barset [227]
never had a shilling with her! By George, it was too bad. And that oaf John De Courcy--I had to pay his travelling bill too.'
'He didn't come to be buried;--did he?'
'It's too disgusting to talk of, Butterwell; it is indeed. And when I asked for her money that was settled upon me--it was only two thousand pounds--they made me go to law, and it seems there was no two thousand pounds to settle. If I like, I can have another lawsuit with the sisters, when the mother is dead. Oh, Butterwell, I have made such a fool of myself. I have come to shipwreck! Oh, Butterwell, if you could but know it all.'
'Are you free from the De Courcys now?'
'I owe Gazebee, the man who married the other woman, over a thousand pounds. But I pay that off at two hundred a year, and he has a policy on my life.'
'What do you owe that for?'
'Don't ask me. Not that I mind telling you;--furniture, and the lease of a house, and his bill for the marriage settlement, d-- him.'
'God bless me. They seem to have been very hard upon you.'
'A man doesn't marry an earl's daughter for nothing, Butterwell. And then to think what I lost! It can't be helped now, you know. As a man makes his bed he must lie on it. I am sometimes so mad with myself when I think over it all--that I should like to blow my brains out.'
'You must not talk that way, Crosbie. I hate to hear a man talk like that.'
'I don't mean that I shall. I'm too much of a coward, I fancy.' A man who desires to soften another man's heart should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart, he should abuse her. 'But life has been so bitter with me for the last three years! I haven't had an hour of comfort;--not an hour. I don't know why I should trouble you with all this Butterwell. Oh--about the money; yes; that's just how I stand. I owed Gazebee something over a thousand pounds which is arranged as I have told you. Then there were debts, due by my wife--at least some of them were, I suppose--and that horrid, ghastly funeral--and debts, I don't doubt, due by the cursed old countess. At any rate, to get myself clear, I raised something over four hundred pounds, and now I owe five which must be paid, part tomorrow, and the remainder this day month.'
'And you've no security?'
'Not a rag, not a shred, not a line, not an acre. There's my salary, and after paying Gazebee what comes due to him, I can manage to let you have the money within twelve months--that is, if you can lend it to me. I can just do that and live; and if you will assist me with the money, I will do so. That's what I've brought myself to by my own folly.'
'Five hundred pounds is such a large sum of money.'
'Indeed it is.'
'And without any security!'
'I know, Butterwell, that I've no right to ask for it. I feel that. Of course I should pay you what interest you please.'
'Money's about seven now,' said Butterwell.
'I've not the slightest objection to seven per cent.,' said Crosbie.
'But that's on security,' said Butterwell.
'You can name your own terms,' said Crosbie.
Mr Butterwell got out of his chair, and walked about the room with his hands in his pockets. He was thinking at the moment of what Mrs Butterwell would say to him. 'Will an answer do tomorrow morning?' he said. 'I would much rather have it today,' said Crosbie. Then Mr Butterwell took another turn about the room. 'I suppose I must let you have it.'
'Butterwell,' said Crosbie, 'I'm eternally obliged to you. It's hardly too much to say that you have saved me from ruin.'
'Of course I was joking about interest,' said Butterwell. 'Five per cent. is the proper thing. You'd better let me have a little acknowledgement. I'll give you the first half tomorrow.'
They were genuine tears which filled Crosbie's eyes, as he seized hold of the senior's hands. 'Butterwell,' he said, 'what am I to say to you?'
'Nothing at all--nothing at all.'
'Your kindness makes me feel that I ought not to have come to you.'
'Oh, nonsense. By-the-by, would you mind telling Thompson to bring those papers to me which I gave
'He didn't come to be buried;--did he?'
'It's too disgusting to talk of, Butterwell; it is indeed. And when I asked for her money that was settled upon me--it was only two thousand pounds--they made me go to law, and it seems there was no two thousand pounds to settle. If I like, I can have another lawsuit with the sisters, when the mother is dead. Oh, Butterwell, I have made such a fool of myself. I have come to shipwreck! Oh, Butterwell, if you could but know it all.'
'Are you free from the De Courcys now?'
'I owe Gazebee, the man who married the other woman, over a thousand pounds. But I pay that off at two hundred a year, and he has a policy on my life.'
'What do you owe that for?'
'Don't ask me. Not that I mind telling you;--furniture, and the lease of a house, and his bill for the marriage settlement, d-- him.'
'God bless me. They seem to have been very hard upon you.'
'A man doesn't marry an earl's daughter for nothing, Butterwell. And then to think what I lost! It can't be helped now, you know. As a man makes his bed he must lie on it. I am sometimes so mad with myself when I think over it all--that I should like to blow my brains out.'
'You must not talk that way, Crosbie. I hate to hear a man talk like that.'
'I don't mean that I shall. I'm too much of a coward, I fancy.' A man who desires to soften another man's heart should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart, he should abuse her. 'But life has been so bitter with me for the last three years! I haven't had an hour of comfort;--not an hour. I don't know why I should trouble you with all this Butterwell. Oh--about the money; yes; that's just how I stand. I owed Gazebee something over a thousand pounds which is arranged as I have told you. Then there were debts, due by my wife--at least some of them were, I suppose--and that horrid, ghastly funeral--and debts, I don't doubt, due by the cursed old countess. At any rate, to get myself clear, I raised something over four hundred pounds, and now I owe five which must be paid, part tomorrow, and the remainder this day month.'
'And you've no security?'
'Not a rag, not a shred, not a line, not an acre. There's my salary, and after paying Gazebee what comes due to him, I can manage to let you have the money within twelve months--that is, if you can lend it to me. I can just do that and live; and if you will assist me with the money, I will do so. That's what I've brought myself to by my own folly.'
'Five hundred pounds is such a large sum of money.'
'Indeed it is.'
'And without any security!'
'I know, Butterwell, that I've no right to ask for it. I feel that. Of course I should pay you what interest you please.'
'Money's about seven now,' said Butterwell.
'I've not the slightest objection to seven per cent.,' said Crosbie.
'But that's on security,' said Butterwell.
'You can name your own terms,' said Crosbie.
Mr Butterwell got out of his chair, and walked about the room with his hands in his pockets. He was thinking at the moment of what Mrs Butterwell would say to him. 'Will an answer do tomorrow morning?' he said. 'I would much rather have it today,' said Crosbie. Then Mr Butterwell took another turn about the room. 'I suppose I must let you have it.'
'Butterwell,' said Crosbie, 'I'm eternally obliged to you. It's hardly too much to say that you have saved me from ruin.'
'Of course I was joking about interest,' said Butterwell. 'Five per cent. is the proper thing. You'd better let me have a little acknowledgement. I'll give you the first half tomorrow.'
They were genuine tears which filled Crosbie's eyes, as he seized hold of the senior's hands. 'Butterwell,' he said, 'what am I to say to you?'
'Nothing at all--nothing at all.'
'Your kindness makes me feel that I ought not to have come to you.'
'Oh, nonsense. By-the-by, would you mind telling Thompson to bring those papers to me which I gave