The Last Chronicle of Barset [86]
in which she had just descended from her carriage. The church which Mrs Proudie attended in the evening was nearly half a mile from the palace, and the coachman and groom never got a holiday on Sunday night. She was gorgeous in a dark brown silk dress of awful stiffness and terrible dimensions; and on her shoulders she wore a short cloak of velvet and fur, very handsome withal, but so swelling in its proportions on all sides as necessarily to create more of dismay than of admiration in the mind of any ordinary man. And her bonnet was a monstrous helmet with the beaver up, displaying the awful face of the warrior, always ready for combat, and careless to guard itself from attack. The large contorted bows which she bore were as a grisly crest upon her casque, beautiful doubtless, but majestic and fear-compelling. In her hand she carried her armour all complete, a prayer-book, a Bible, and a book of hymns. These the footman had brought for her to the study door, but she had thought it fit to enter her husband's room with them in her own custody.
'Well, Mr Thumble!' she said.
Mr Thumble did not answer at once, thinking, probably, that the bishop might choose to explain the circumstances. But neither did the bishop say anything.
'Well, Mr Thumble?' she said again; and then she stood looking at the man who had failed so disastrously.
'I have explained to the bishop,' said he. 'Mr Crawley has been contumacious--very contumacious indeed.'
'But you preached at Hogglestock?'
'No, indeed, Mrs Proudie. Nor would it have been possible, unless I had the police to assist me.'
'Then you should have had the police. I never heard of anything so mismanaged in all my life--never in all my life.' And she put her books down on the study table, and turned herself round from Mr Thumble towards the bishop. 'If things go on like this, my lord,' she said, 'your authority in the diocese will very soon be worth nothing at all.' It was not often that Mrs Proudie called her husband my lord, but when she did so, it was a sign that terrible times had come;--times so terrible that the bishop would know that he must either fight or fly. He would almost endure anything rather than descend into the arena for the purpose of doing battle with his wife, but occasions would come now and again when even the alternatives of flight were hardly left to him.
'But, my dear--' began the bishop.
'Am I to understand that this man has professed himself to be altogether indifferent to the bishop's prohibition?' said Mrs Proudie, interrupting her husband and addressing Mr Thumble.
'Quite so. He seemed to think that the bishop had no lawful power in the matter at all,' said Mr Thumble.
'Do you hear that, my lord?' said Mrs Proudie.
'Nor have I any,' said the bishop, almost weeping as he spoke.
'No authority in your own diocese!'
'None to silence a man merely by my own judgment. I thought, and still think, that it was for this gentleman's own interest, as well as for the credit of the Church, that some provision should be made for his duties during the present--present--difficulties.'
'Difficulties indeed! Everybody knows that the man has been a thief.'
'No, my dear; I do not know it.'
'You never know anything, bishop.'
'I mean to say I do not know it officially. Of course, I have heard the sad story; and though I hope it may not be--'
'There is no doubt about its truth. All the world knows it. He has stolen twenty pounds, and yet he is to be allowed to desecrate the Church, and imperil the souls of the people!' The bishop got up from his chair and began to walk backwards and forwards through the room with short quick steps. 'It only wants five days to Christmas Day,' continued Mrs Proudie, 'and something must be done at once. I say nothing as to the propriety or impropriety of his being out on bail, as it is no affair of ours. When I heard that he had been bailed by a beneficed clergyman of this diocese, of course I knew where to look for the man who would act with so much impropriety. Of course I was not surprised,
'Well, Mr Thumble!' she said.
Mr Thumble did not answer at once, thinking, probably, that the bishop might choose to explain the circumstances. But neither did the bishop say anything.
'Well, Mr Thumble?' she said again; and then she stood looking at the man who had failed so disastrously.
'I have explained to the bishop,' said he. 'Mr Crawley has been contumacious--very contumacious indeed.'
'But you preached at Hogglestock?'
'No, indeed, Mrs Proudie. Nor would it have been possible, unless I had the police to assist me.'
'Then you should have had the police. I never heard of anything so mismanaged in all my life--never in all my life.' And she put her books down on the study table, and turned herself round from Mr Thumble towards the bishop. 'If things go on like this, my lord,' she said, 'your authority in the diocese will very soon be worth nothing at all.' It was not often that Mrs Proudie called her husband my lord, but when she did so, it was a sign that terrible times had come;--times so terrible that the bishop would know that he must either fight or fly. He would almost endure anything rather than descend into the arena for the purpose of doing battle with his wife, but occasions would come now and again when even the alternatives of flight were hardly left to him.
'But, my dear--' began the bishop.
'Am I to understand that this man has professed himself to be altogether indifferent to the bishop's prohibition?' said Mrs Proudie, interrupting her husband and addressing Mr Thumble.
'Quite so. He seemed to think that the bishop had no lawful power in the matter at all,' said Mr Thumble.
'Do you hear that, my lord?' said Mrs Proudie.
'Nor have I any,' said the bishop, almost weeping as he spoke.
'No authority in your own diocese!'
'None to silence a man merely by my own judgment. I thought, and still think, that it was for this gentleman's own interest, as well as for the credit of the Church, that some provision should be made for his duties during the present--present--difficulties.'
'Difficulties indeed! Everybody knows that the man has been a thief.'
'No, my dear; I do not know it.'
'You never know anything, bishop.'
'I mean to say I do not know it officially. Of course, I have heard the sad story; and though I hope it may not be--'
'There is no doubt about its truth. All the world knows it. He has stolen twenty pounds, and yet he is to be allowed to desecrate the Church, and imperil the souls of the people!' The bishop got up from his chair and began to walk backwards and forwards through the room with short quick steps. 'It only wants five days to Christmas Day,' continued Mrs Proudie, 'and something must be done at once. I say nothing as to the propriety or impropriety of his being out on bail, as it is no affair of ours. When I heard that he had been bailed by a beneficed clergyman of this diocese, of course I knew where to look for the man who would act with so much impropriety. Of course I was not surprised,