The Last Empress - Anchee Min [31]
I tried not to show my irritation. I told her that I only meant to help.
"I am not doubting your motives," Alute said to me. "It's just ... I don't feel lesser in status."
I was confused. "What are you talking about? Who made you feel 'lesser in status'?"
Alute nodded at the other wives. "Everybody here is afraid of speaking her thoughts in front of you, but I am going to. Dowager Empress, Tung Chih is your responsibility, not ours."
I was offended. "Alute, you have no right to speak for the others."
"I'll speak for myself, then. As His Majesty's mother, have you asked your son about what is wrong with him?"
"I wouldn't come to you for help if I could talk to him myself."
"There must be a reason he abandoned the Forbidden City for a whorehouse."
"You are angry, Alute. You really think it is my fault?"
"Yes, I do."
"Facts, Alute."
The girl bit her lip, then said, "Emperor Tung Chih was fine with me until you told him to go to Foo-cha. You couldn't bear the idea that he would have a child with me and not with Foo-cha. That was how Tung Chih got sick of all of us, because he was sick of you!"
Alute may have had a point, but I rejected it because of her rudeness. "Alute, how dare you! You have no right to disrespect me."
"But the child in my belly does!"
I was dumbfounded. I asked Alute to repeat what she had said.
"I am pregnant," she announced proudly.
"Oh, Alute!" I was thrilled. "Why didn't you tell me? Congratulations! Rise! Rise! Well, I must go to share this wonderful news with Nuharoo! We are going to have a grandchild!"
"Not yet, Your Majesty." Alute stopped me. "Until Tung Chih returns to me, I am not sure I will have the strength to carry the pregnancy."
"Tung Chih is..." I tried to find words to comfort her. "It hurts when you know that he is with other ladies. Believe me, Alute, I know how that feels."
"I hate what you are saying." Alute began to cry.
"Well," I said, feeling guilty, "be glad that you have Tung Chih's child."
"It's not up to you or me to decide whether the child will come into the world. My body and soul are in so much pain that I can feel it seeking revenge. I am afraid that something unexpected is going to happen."
"It is Heaven's will that you have been given a child, Alute. The dragon seed will survive no matter what."
Without asking permission, Alute walked to the window and stood with her back to me. Outside, the giant oak trees were bare.
"The oak nuts have been dropping everywhere," Alute said, shaking her head. "It's hard to walk without stepping on them. It is a bad omen. What am I going to do? I am not made to bear misery."
"Alute," I said gently, "I am sure nothing is wrong. You are just tired, that's all."
She ignored me, continuing to face the window. Her voice grew thin and distant. "It gets louder. I hear the sound of nuts dropping and cracking on the ground day and night."
I stared at the back of my daughter-in-law. Her silky black hair was elaborately braided and fastened onto a plate. Pink floral hairpins studded with diamonds glinted in the light. Suddenly I understood why she was Tung Chih's first choice: like him, she had her own mind.
It was on a morning in early winter that Doctor Sun Pao-tien broke the news that my son was not going to live.
I trembled in front of the doctor like a young tree in a storm. My mind's eye saw red lanterns floating down from the ceiling.
I tried to understand the doctor, but I couldn't. He was explaining Tung Chih's condition, but it sounded as if he were speaking a foreign language. Then I must have passed out. When I came to, Li Lien-ying was in front of me. He was following the doctor's instructions, pressing his thumb between my nose and the top of my upper lip. I tried to push him away, but I had no strength.
"Tung Chih has been visited by the heavenly flowers," I finally heard him say.
"Tell Doctor Sun Pao-tien"—I drew in my breath and cried—"if there is any mistake, I won't hesitate to punish him!"
After lunch the doctor came again. Getting down on his knees, he began his report. "His