The Last Hero - Terry Pratchett [9]
"A severe gale would be helpful at the launch..." Leonard continued.
"I think I can say without fear of contradiction that our wizards can supply wind in practically unlimited amounts," said the Patrician. "Is that not so, Archchancellor?"
"I am forced to agree, my lord."
"Then if we can rely on a stiff following breeze. I am sure —"
"Just a moment, just a moment," said the Dean, who rather felt the wind comment had been directed at him. "What do we know of this man? He makes... devices, and paints pictures, does he? Well, I'm sure this is all very nice, but we all know about artists, don't we? Flibbertigibbets, to a man. And what about Bloody Stupid Johnson? Remember some of the things he built? [4] I'm sure Mr da Quirm draws lovely pictures, but I for one would need a little more evidence of his amazing genius before we entrust the world to his... device. Show me one thing he can do that anyone couldn't do, if they had the time."
"I have never considered myself a genius," said Leonard, looking down bashfully and doodling on the paper in front of him.
"Well, if I was a genius I think I'd know it —" the Dean began, and stopped.
Absent-mindedly, while barely paying attention to what he was doing, Leonard had drawn a perfect circle.
Lord Vetinari found it best to set up a committee system. More of the ambassadors from other countries had arrived at the university, and more heads of the Guilds were pouring in, and every single one of them wanted to be involved in the decision-making process without necessarily going through the intelligence-using process first.
About seven committees, he considered, should be about right. And when, ten minutes later, the first sub-committee had miraculously budded off, he took aside a few chosen people into a small room, set up the Miscellaneous Committee, and locked the door.
"The flying ship will need a crew, I'm told," he said. "It can carry three people. Leonard will have to go because, to be frank, he will be working on it even as it departs. And the other two?"
"There should be an assassin," said Lord Downey of the Assassins" Guild.
"No. If Cohen and his friends were easy to assassinate, they would have been dead long ago," said Lord Vetinari.
"Perhaps a woman's touch?" said Mrs Palm, head of the Guild of Seamstresses. "I know they are elderly gentlemen, but my members are —"
"I think the problem there, Mrs Palm, is that although the Horde are apparently very appreciative of the company of women, they don't listen to anything they say. Yes, Captain Carrot?"
Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of the City Watch was standing to attention, radiating keenness and a hint of soap.
"I volunteer to go, sir," he said.
"Yes, I thought you probably would."
"Is this a matter for the Watch?" said the lawyer Mr Slant. "Mr Cohen is simply returning property to its original owner."
"That is an insight which had not hitherto occurred to me," said Lord Vetinari smoothly. "However, the City Watch would not be the men I think they are if they couldn't think of a reason to arrest anyone. Commander Vimes?"
"Conspiracy to make an affray should do it," said the head of the Watch, lighting a cigar.
"And Captain Carrot is a persuasive young man," said Lord Vetinari.
"With a big sword," grumbled Mr Slant.
"Persuasion comes in many forms," said Lord Vetinari. "No, I agree with Archchancellor Ridcully, sending Captain Carrot would be an excellent idea."
"What? Did I say something?" said Ridcully.
"Do you think that sending Captain Carrot would be an excellent idea?"
"What? Oh. Yes. Good lad. Keen. Got a sword."
"Then I agree with you," said Lord Vetinari, who knew how to work a committee. "We must make haste, gentlemen. The flotilla needs to leave tomorrow. We need a third member of the crew —"
There was a knock at the door. Vetinari signalled to a college porter to open it.
The wizard known as Rincewind lurched into the room, white-faced, and stopped in front