The Last Ring-bearer - Kirill Yeskov [95]
"Well, 'a tiny peninsula that's way overestimating its importance' – that's pretty well said," the baron acknowledged good-naturedly, "but I have to take issue with the last point of your indictment, regarding 'brown sourwater.' Believe it or not, not half a minute ago I was thinking about how nice it'd be to pair a couple of pints of our good old bitter with these shrimp! One that's black and sour like pitch, with foam thick enough to hold up a small coin…" He smiled dreamily and gestured at the other man with tired condescension. "Mister Assistant State Secretary, you simply can't imagine a real Gondorian bitter. The first, longest swallow leaves a vanishing aftertaste of smoke on your tongue, like what you can smell in a park when they burn last year's leaves in the spring; not for naught is it called smoked beer…"
Mister Assistant State Secretary responded to the effect that he knew his beers no worse than the natives, having worked in the Northern Countries division for many years; he was likewise conversant with all kinds of seal blubber so prized by the lossoths inhabiting the banks of the Bay of Forochel. Yeah… many years in the Northern Countries division, right. It's no crime to deeply despise foreigners, but why demonstrate these feelings to them so brazenly? And as for the fact that the archaically top-fermented bitters and stouts have not been brewed outside of Eriador for the last hundred years, and that the famous smoked beer is not even a bitter, but a lager with specially caramelized hops – no, a specialist has no right not to know such things about a country he's supposed to work with! Say what you want, but the exceedingly smart and cautious Alkabir has strange employees these days.
So why did they want to meet him? First guess: to get him out of his hotel room in order to check his luggage for messages, letters of introductions, and such. Well, such cheap tricks would be in style for the dumb boy scouts from the Gondorian station, but the Umbarian Secret Service, as far as he could remember, worked in much subtler ways. Second guess: Alkabir is letting him know on behalf of the Foreign Ministry that the Republic has abandoned its age-old practice of temporary alliances balancing opposing forces, and has decided to surrender to the strongest – that'd be Gondor – therefore it is pointedly refusing meaningful contact with the Ithilien emissary (undoubtedly that's who they think he is). Third guess, the most likely one: Alkabir is letting him know that while the Republic had indeed abandoned the said age-old practice, there are powerful forces that disagree with this decision, and the 'Ithilien emissary' should deal with them, rather than with the Foreign Ministry and other official channels, which the pompous ass Gagano is supposed to personify. The main thing is that regardless of which of these guesses is correct, it's not the right time to go to the Blue Palace waving his diplomatic papers (had he actually had any). Here Tangorn had to laugh: so I don't believe that Alkabir sent Gagano without his choice being a hidden message, while Alkabir doesn't believe that I'm really retired and not Faramir's fully empowered representative, however unofficial. Both of these pictures, though resting as they do on fairly tenuous assumptions, are internally consistent, so it's not entirely clear which facts might convince either one of us otherwise…
"What's so funny, Baron?" the Assistant State Secretary inquired haughtily.
"Nothing much, just an amusing thought