The last secret_ a novel - Mary McGarry Morris [22]
On impulse she pulls into Kay McBride's driveway. If asked she would have said that she and Kay have been friendly for years, though Kay considers Nora her closest friend. She doesn't deserve a friend like Kay. All the time she's spent with Robin and Bob, instead of with Kay who wasn't part of a couple, such a waste. Kay is everything Nora is not, easygoing, good-natured, honest about her feelings. Maybe that's it. With Kay she always feels a little guilty. False, for not being half the person Kay thinks she is. Nora's life has always seemed so easy in comparison. Kay's husband died of kidney failure a few years after they were married, leaving Kay with a six-month-old baby and a pittance for insurance. Kay got her broker's license, and Nora was one of her first clients. They met when she and Ken began looking for a bigger house. Nora was pregnant for the third time and their three-bedroom Cape wasn't going to be big enough. Or at least that's what she told Kay. In truth, Ken never liked the neighborhood. He wanted to live where he'd grown up, on the north side of town, nearer the club, where most of the homes couldn't even be seen from the road. With Kay's help they found the house they still have, bright, airy, and as it turned out with Nora's miscarriage, bigger than they would need.
The only light is on upstairs, but she keeps ringing the bell.
“Nora!” Kay says, throwing open the door, still putting on her robe. “What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be packing?”
“I've been meaning to call you. All your messages … it's just been … crazy!” And suddenly she's in Kay's arms, sobbing. She can barely speak.
“Poor kid. Oh, you poor kid. Here. C'mere. Come sit down.”
Kay leads her into the small den. The love seat creaks under them.
“What's wrong?” Kay asks, and Nora can only shake her head. “Tell me. Just say it.”
“It's Ken,” Nora cries.
“What? What about him?” Kay looks stricken.
“He's been having an affair. With Robin,” she gasps, and Kay sighs. Instead of shock there is only relief in Kay's eyes. “You knew. You did, didn't you?”
“I did. Yes.” Kay's arm stiffens against her shoulder.
“How long have you known?”
“I'm not sure.”
“Who told you?”
“I don't remember. Someone in the office, I think.”
With that, Nora sits forward. “And you never told me. You never said anything.”
“Well, I … God, Nora. I mean, at first I didn't want to believe it. And then I … I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you.”
“But I am hurt. You have no idea how hurt I am. The pain I'm in.”
“Oh, Nora, I—”
“But the worst of it's knowing that you were in on it, too.” She jumps up, heading for the door.
“No! No, Nora!” Kay follows her, barefoot, into the cold, down the walk. Kay grabs her arm and holds on, almost pinning her back against the car. “I never saw them together. Never once! But I told Ken. I told him what a shithead he was. How disgusting I thought it all was. And you know what he said to me? Do you want to know?”
She already does: that he loved Robin and couldn't help himself.
“He said I should tell you, then. If I really believed it was true, if I was that disgusted, then maybe I should do something about it.”
“So why didn't you?” Her voice sounds small, far away.
“Because … because some things are just … just too hard. And I wasn't about to do his dirty work. That would've made it too easy for him.”
“But you did. Everyone did. It was all so easy for him. Don't you see?”
“I know, and I know why you're saying it, Nora. Because if you put all the blame on him, then you'll hate him. You'll hate him too much for anything to be salvaged. But don't push me away. Or anyone