The Last Victim_ A True-Life Journey Into the Mind of the Serial Killer - Jason Moss [104]
Jason would, however, be the first to admit that he genuinely enjoys stepping into the deviant world, especially among those who obey no rules except those they create. Does he want to be like these killers? Again, I don’t think so. I believe him when he says that he wants to conquer, or at least understand, that which terrifies him the most. I also think that, like many of us, he is intrigued with the novelty and intense visceral stimulation that comes from studying the behavior of chronic killers. These are people who engage in the most ruthless behavior imaginable without a hint of remorse. They laugh in the face of danger—at least the kind they can control.
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Jason’s narrative brings up several aspects that warrant further exploration. The first can be summed up by a remark I’ve often heard from people who’ve read the story: “How did he ever get his parents to let him do such a thing?” Indeed, it is hard to believe that anyone would let their kid spend his spring break on Death Row, alone in a cell with a killer.
In this lone respect, I think Jason’s narrative fails to do justice to his guile. In my judgment, Jason’s parents are honest, hardworking, responsible people. They care deeply about the welfare of their sons and have devoted their lives to giving them the best shot at life possible. In spite of their complaints about how difficult Jason was to raise, they’re immensely proud of what he has accomplished.
In reflecting on their allowing Jason to pursue his project to such bizarre lengths, I chalk it up to his infuriating effectiveness as a persuader. If Jason decided that he wanted to do something, I don’t believe anyone could stop him, least of all his parents, who had other problems to deal with.
A second aspect of the story that merits further comment is its portrayal of the “point of transaction” between killer and victim—the exact moment when the prey is reeled in. Prior to Jason’s account, we actually knew very little about this encounter and why otherwise intelligent, capable individuals wound up being deceived and trapped.
I find it significant that Jason, a kickboxer and weightlifter who towered over Gacy, was brought under the killer’s complete control by words alone. In spite of Jason’s rationalizations that he could have overpowered Gacy at any moment, it appears that he was saved by the bell—or, rather, was rescued by Gacy’s nephew, who happened to arrive on the scene. Even today this nags at Jason—it was okay to pretend to be a victim, but he’ll never forgive himself for actually being trapped in that role.
Credit Gacy, who was as sensitive and perceptive as any trained psychologist, for sizing up Jason’s vulnerabilities (just as Jason was doing with Gacy). By alternating between two distinct personas—by switching from good cop to bad cop—he was able to keep the young man off balance.
Of course, victims like Jason are not only paralyzed by the killer himself but by the very idea of him. Throughout his prison visit, the thought repeatedly passed through Jason’s mind, “I can’t believe who this guy is! I can’t believe what he’s done! To think these same hands touching me now also killed dozens of others.” This sort of thinking can turn even the strongest legs to jelly.
Where Jason erred most was in his own perceived invincibility. Like any young person, and certainly like any amateur, he believed himself infallible. He made the one mistake that a police officer learns the first day on the job: don’t underestimate anyone.Jason certainly possessed a seasoned cop’s suspicious nature, but he lacked the experience. He got carried away with himself, lost his objectivity, turned the whole episode into a test of his virility. It was as if he was big-game hunting, after the most dangerous animal he could imagine; no matter what happened, he intended to win in the end. If he hadn’t caught Gacy on tape