The Liberation of Alice Love - Abby McDonald [127]
“Actually, it does.” Alice laughed, but instead of letting her up, Julian gazed down at her, a peculiarly intense expression suddenly drifting into his eyes.
He gave her a smile, quiet and intimate. And then he moved to kiss her.
Alice stopped. She knew that she should break away now, make a comment about his maudlin despair and put some safe distance between their bodies, but a morbid curiosity in her made her stay.
How far would he go?
Slowly, Julian reached down to brush a stray piece of hair away from her cheek. His hand lingered there, his weight still pressing her into the sofa with his mouth just inches from hers, breath metallic with the faint smell of vodka.
Still, Alice didn’t move.
The thought had crossed her mind, of course. In their ten years of friendship, it had occurred to her, occasionally, what they might be like together, as a real couple. But the prospect had faded, with time and familiarity, until only Flora’s jokes about declarations of undying love reminded Alice of the possibility.
But this wasn’t love, or anything like it.
Alice waited for his lips to find hers, still strangely detached from the whole situation. Was he really going to do it? After all these years, just reach for her blindly—as if she were nothing more than the nearest warm body? He was upset, and even drunk, but as Julian gazed into her eyes and edged his face closer to hers, Alice didn’t find it much of an excuse. He didn’t want her; he wanted reassurance that he wasn’t doomed to be alone.
Her anger grew.
Julian pressed against her, his mouth already opening to deepen the kiss. He dropped a hand to her hips, slipping up beneath the fabric of her top as he began to settle back on top of her, making a slight groaning noise under his breath as his fingers found her stomach, her bra…
Alice pushed him away with so much force, he tumbled to the floor.
“What?” Julian protested, not even looking shameful.
“What?” Alice repeated, struggling to her feet. “You grope at me like I’m some kind of rebound fuck, and you’re the one asking what’s going on?”
He blinked at her, wounded. “That’s not what this is…”
“Really?” Alice forced herself to calm down. He was upset; he didn’t know what he was doing. “So you genuinely have feelings for me?” she asked. “Strong enough to risk our entire friendship for?”
“What if I do?” Julian picked himself up. “You can’t tell me that I’m the only one. This has been building between us for a long time.”
Alice gaped. “No, it hasn’t. And in case you forgot, I’m seeing someone!”
“Right. The American,” Julian said, with a hint of arrogance. “Like that’s going to last. He’s not right for you.”
“Whereas you are?” Alice exhaled, her sympathy melting away. “God, Jules, you break up with Yasmin and then, whoosh! Six hours later, you’re happily trying to…I don’t even know!”
She stopped, struck by a sudden chill. All these years, she’d thought him a safe part of her life; she’d believed she mattered to him. But now, he seemed ready to throw it all away on a cheap, drunken one-night stand.
Was that all she meant to him?
Alice looked at him, hoping he would realize his mistake. Better late than never at all. He could apologize, and she could forgive him, and eventually they could go back to normal again and pretend this madness never happened.
But Julian just blustered: “I don’t know why you’re acting this way. I thought this was what you wanted!”
“Which makes it even worse.” Alice shook her head. She couldn’t believe this. “If I was secretly in love with you, do you really think this is what I deserve? Some hormonal fumble on the couch, with your ex-lover’s belongings still piled around us?”
Julian coughed. “Look, OK, maybe my timing isn’t the greatest here, but—”
“No, Julian!” Alice exploded. “You don’t get it. I’m not your standby; I haven’t been waiting around for you to settle for me!”
“That’s not what I meant. Aly, come on; you mean the world to me!”
“No, I don