The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy [130]
Toby's question, confounded Kysarcius more than the ablest advocate--He stopp'd a full minute, looking in my uncle Toby's face without replying--and in that single minute Triptolemus put by him, and took the lead as follows.
'Tis a ground and principle in the law, said Triptolemus, that things do not ascend, but descend in it; and I make no doubt 'tis for this cause, that however true it is, that the child may be of the blood and seed of its parents--that the parents, nevertheless, are not of the blood and seed of it; inasmuch as the parents are not begot by the child, but the child by the parents--For so they write, Liberi sunt de sanguine patris & matris, sed pater & mater non sunt de sanguine liberorum.
--But this, Triptolemus, cried Didius, proves too much--for from this authority cited it would follow, not only what indeed is granted on all sides, that the mother is not of kin to her child--but the father likewise.--It is held, said Triptolemus, the better opinion; because the father, the mother, and the child, though they be three persons, yet are they but (una caro (Vide Brook Abridg. tit. Administr. N .47.)) one flesh; and consequently no degree of kindred--or any method of acquiring one in nature.--There you push the argument again too far, cried Didius--for there is no prohibition in nature, though there is in the Levitical law--but that a man may beget a child upon his grandmother--in which case, supposing the issue a daughter, she would stand in relation both of--But who ever thought, cried Kysarcius, of laying with his grandmother?--The young gentleman, replied Yorick, whom Selden speaks of--who not only thought of it, but justified his intention to his father by the argument drawn from the law of retaliation.--'You laid, Sir, with my mother,' said the lad-- 'why may not I lay with yours?'--'Tis the Argumentum commune, added Yorick.--'Tis as good, replied Eugenius, taking down his hat, as they deserve.
The company broke up.
Chapter 2.LXV.
--And pray, said my uncle Toby, leaning upon Yorick, as he and my father were helping him leisurely down the stairs--don't be terrified, madam, this stair-case conversation is not so long as the last--And pray, Yorick, said my uncle Toby, which way is this said affair of Tristram at length settled by these learned men? Very satisfactorily, replied Yorick; no mortal, Sir, has any concern with it--for Mrs. Shandy the mother is nothing at all a-kin to him--and as the mother's is the surest side--Mr. Shandy, in course is still less than nothing--In short, he is not as much a-kin to him, Sir, as I am.--
--That may well be, said my father, shaking his head.
--Let the learned say what they will, there must certainly, quoth my uncle Toby, have been some sort of consanguinity betwixt the duchess of Suffolk and her son.
The vulgar are of the same opinion, quoth Yorick, to this hour.
Chapter 2.LXVI.
Though my father was hugely tickled with the subtleties of these learned discourses--'twas still but like the anointing of a broken bone--The moment he got home, the weight of his afflictions returned upon him but so much the heavier, as is ever the case when the staff we lean on slips from under us.--He became pensive--walked frequently forth to the fish-pond--let down one loop of his hat--sigh'd often--forbore to snap--and, as the hasty sparks of temper, which occasion snapping, so much assist perspiration and digestion, as Hippocrates tells us--he had certainly fallen ill with the extinction of them, had not his thoughts been critically drawn off, and his health rescued by a fresh train of disquietudes left him, with a legacy of a thousand pounds, by my aunt Dinah.
My father had scarce read the letter, when taking the thing by the right end, he instantly began to plague and puzzle his head how to lay it out mostly to the honour of his family.--A hundred-and-fifty odd projects took possession of his brains by turns--he would do this, and that and t'other-- He would go to Rome--he would go to law--he would buy stock--he would buy John Hobson's farm--he
'Tis a ground and principle in the law, said Triptolemus, that things do not ascend, but descend in it; and I make no doubt 'tis for this cause, that however true it is, that the child may be of the blood and seed of its parents--that the parents, nevertheless, are not of the blood and seed of it; inasmuch as the parents are not begot by the child, but the child by the parents--For so they write, Liberi sunt de sanguine patris & matris, sed pater & mater non sunt de sanguine liberorum.
--But this, Triptolemus, cried Didius, proves too much--for from this authority cited it would follow, not only what indeed is granted on all sides, that the mother is not of kin to her child--but the father likewise.--It is held, said Triptolemus, the better opinion; because the father, the mother, and the child, though they be three persons, yet are they but (una caro (Vide Brook Abridg. tit. Administr. N .47.)) one flesh; and consequently no degree of kindred--or any method of acquiring one in nature.--There you push the argument again too far, cried Didius--for there is no prohibition in nature, though there is in the Levitical law--but that a man may beget a child upon his grandmother--in which case, supposing the issue a daughter, she would stand in relation both of--But who ever thought, cried Kysarcius, of laying with his grandmother?--The young gentleman, replied Yorick, whom Selden speaks of--who not only thought of it, but justified his intention to his father by the argument drawn from the law of retaliation.--'You laid, Sir, with my mother,' said the lad-- 'why may not I lay with yours?'--'Tis the Argumentum commune, added Yorick.--'Tis as good, replied Eugenius, taking down his hat, as they deserve.
The company broke up.
Chapter 2.LXV.
--And pray, said my uncle Toby, leaning upon Yorick, as he and my father were helping him leisurely down the stairs--don't be terrified, madam, this stair-case conversation is not so long as the last--And pray, Yorick, said my uncle Toby, which way is this said affair of Tristram at length settled by these learned men? Very satisfactorily, replied Yorick; no mortal, Sir, has any concern with it--for Mrs. Shandy the mother is nothing at all a-kin to him--and as the mother's is the surest side--Mr. Shandy, in course is still less than nothing--In short, he is not as much a-kin to him, Sir, as I am.--
--That may well be, said my father, shaking his head.
--Let the learned say what they will, there must certainly, quoth my uncle Toby, have been some sort of consanguinity betwixt the duchess of Suffolk and her son.
The vulgar are of the same opinion, quoth Yorick, to this hour.
Chapter 2.LXVI.
Though my father was hugely tickled with the subtleties of these learned discourses--'twas still but like the anointing of a broken bone--The moment he got home, the weight of his afflictions returned upon him but so much the heavier, as is ever the case when the staff we lean on slips from under us.--He became pensive--walked frequently forth to the fish-pond--let down one loop of his hat--sigh'd often--forbore to snap--and, as the hasty sparks of temper, which occasion snapping, so much assist perspiration and digestion, as Hippocrates tells us--he had certainly fallen ill with the extinction of them, had not his thoughts been critically drawn off, and his health rescued by a fresh train of disquietudes left him, with a legacy of a thousand pounds, by my aunt Dinah.
My father had scarce read the letter, when taking the thing by the right end, he instantly began to plague and puzzle his head how to lay it out mostly to the honour of his family.--A hundred-and-fifty odd projects took possession of his brains by turns--he would do this, and that and t'other-- He would go to Rome--he would go to law--he would buy stock--he would buy John Hobson's farm--he