The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy [143]
heat it, and cool it, and melt it, and mollify it,--and then harden it again to your purpose--
Ye who wind and turn the passions with this great windlass, and, having done it, lead the owners of them, whither ye think meet.
Ye, lastly, who drive--and why not, Ye also who are driven, like turkeys to market with a stick and a red clout--meditate--meditate, I beseech you, upon Trim's hat.
Chapter 3.VIII.
Stay--I have a small account to settle with the reader before Trim can go on with his harangue.--It shall be done in two minutes.
Amongst many other book-debts, all of which I shall discharge in due time,- -I own myself a debtor to the world for two items,--a chapter upon chamber- maids and button-holes, which, in the former part of my work, I promised and fully intended to pay off this year: but some of your worships and reverences telling me, that the two subjects, especially so connected together, might endanger the morals of the world,--I pray the chapter upon chamber-maids and button-holes may be forgiven me,--and that they will accept of the last chapter in lieu of it; which is nothing, an't please your reverences, but a chapter of chamber-maids, green gowns, and old hats.
Trim took his hat off the ground,--put it upon his head,--and then went on with his oration upon death, in manner and form following.
Chapter 3.IX.
--To us, Jonathan, who know not what want or care is--who live here in the service of two of the best of masters--(bating in my own case his majesty King William the Third, whom I had the honour to serve both in Ireland and Flanders)--I own it, that from Whitsontide to within three weeks of Christmas,--'tis not long--'tis like nothing;--but to those, Jonathan, who know what death is, and what havock and destruction he can make, before a man can well wheel about--'tis like a whole age.--O Jonathan! 'twould make a good-natured man's heart bleed, to consider, continued the corporal (standing perpendicularly), how low many a brave and upright fellow has been laid since that time!--And trust me, Susy, added the corporal, turning to Susannah, whose eyes were swimming in water,--before that time comes round again,--many a bright eye will be dim.--Susannah placed it to the right side of the page--she wept--but she court'sied too.--Are we not, continued Trim, looking still at Susannah--are we not like a flower of the field--a tear of pride stole in betwixt every two tears of humiliation-- else no tongue could have described Susannah's affliction--is not all flesh grass?--Tis clay,--'tis dirt.--They all looked directly at the scullion,-- the scullion had just been scouring a fish-kettle.--It was not fair.--
--What is the finest face that ever man looked at!--I could hear Trim talk so for ever, cried Susannah,--what is it! (Susannah laid her hand upon Trim's shoulder)--but corruption?--Susannah took it off.
Now I love you for this--and 'tis this delicious mixture within you which makes you dear creatures what you are--and he who hates you for it--all I can say of the matter is--That he has either a pumpkin for his head--or a pippin for his heart,--and whenever he is dissected 'twill be found so.
Chapter 3.X.
Whether Susannah, by taking her hand too suddenly from off the corporal's shoulder (by the whisking about of her passions)--broke a little the chain of his reflexions--
Or whether the corporal began to be suspicious, he had got into the doctor's quarters, and was talking more like the chaplain than himself--
Or whether. . .Or whether--for in all such cases a man of invention and parts may with pleasure fill a couple of pages with suppositions--which of all these was the cause, let the curious physiologist, or the curious any body determine--'tis certain, at least, the corporal went on thus with his harangue.
For my own part, I declare it, that out of doors, I value not death at all:--not this. . .added the corporal, snapping his fingers,--but with an air which no one but the corporal could have given to the sentiment.--In battle, I value death not this. . .and
Ye who wind and turn the passions with this great windlass, and, having done it, lead the owners of them, whither ye think meet.
Ye, lastly, who drive--and why not, Ye also who are driven, like turkeys to market with a stick and a red clout--meditate--meditate, I beseech you, upon Trim's hat.
Chapter 3.VIII.
Stay--I have a small account to settle with the reader before Trim can go on with his harangue.--It shall be done in two minutes.
Amongst many other book-debts, all of which I shall discharge in due time,- -I own myself a debtor to the world for two items,--a chapter upon chamber- maids and button-holes, which, in the former part of my work, I promised and fully intended to pay off this year: but some of your worships and reverences telling me, that the two subjects, especially so connected together, might endanger the morals of the world,--I pray the chapter upon chamber-maids and button-holes may be forgiven me,--and that they will accept of the last chapter in lieu of it; which is nothing, an't please your reverences, but a chapter of chamber-maids, green gowns, and old hats.
Trim took his hat off the ground,--put it upon his head,--and then went on with his oration upon death, in manner and form following.
Chapter 3.IX.
--To us, Jonathan, who know not what want or care is--who live here in the service of two of the best of masters--(bating in my own case his majesty King William the Third, whom I had the honour to serve both in Ireland and Flanders)--I own it, that from Whitsontide to within three weeks of Christmas,--'tis not long--'tis like nothing;--but to those, Jonathan, who know what death is, and what havock and destruction he can make, before a man can well wheel about--'tis like a whole age.--O Jonathan! 'twould make a good-natured man's heart bleed, to consider, continued the corporal (standing perpendicularly), how low many a brave and upright fellow has been laid since that time!--And trust me, Susy, added the corporal, turning to Susannah, whose eyes were swimming in water,--before that time comes round again,--many a bright eye will be dim.--Susannah placed it to the right side of the page--she wept--but she court'sied too.--Are we not, continued Trim, looking still at Susannah--are we not like a flower of the field--a tear of pride stole in betwixt every two tears of humiliation-- else no tongue could have described Susannah's affliction--is not all flesh grass?--Tis clay,--'tis dirt.--They all looked directly at the scullion,-- the scullion had just been scouring a fish-kettle.--It was not fair.--
--What is the finest face that ever man looked at!--I could hear Trim talk so for ever, cried Susannah,--what is it! (Susannah laid her hand upon Trim's shoulder)--but corruption?--Susannah took it off.
Now I love you for this--and 'tis this delicious mixture within you which makes you dear creatures what you are--and he who hates you for it--all I can say of the matter is--That he has either a pumpkin for his head--or a pippin for his heart,--and whenever he is dissected 'twill be found so.
Chapter 3.X.
Whether Susannah, by taking her hand too suddenly from off the corporal's shoulder (by the whisking about of her passions)--broke a little the chain of his reflexions--
Or whether the corporal began to be suspicious, he had got into the doctor's quarters, and was talking more like the chaplain than himself--
Or whether. . .Or whether--for in all such cases a man of invention and parts may with pleasure fill a couple of pages with suppositions--which of all these was the cause, let the curious physiologist, or the curious any body determine--'tis certain, at least, the corporal went on thus with his harangue.
For my own part, I declare it, that out of doors, I value not death at all:--not this. . .added the corporal, snapping his fingers,--but with an air which no one but the corporal could have given to the sentiment.--In battle, I value death not this. . .and