The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy [203]
right hand, and Dauphiny on my left, scarce seeing the ancient cities of Vienne, Valence, and Vivieres. What a flame will it rekindle in the lamp, to snatch a blushing grape from the Hermitage and Cote roti, as I shoot by the foot of them! and what a fresh spring in the blood! to behold upon the banks advancing and retiring, the castles of romance, whence courteous knights have whilome rescued the distress'd--and see vertiginous, the rocks, the mountains, the cataracts, and all the hurry which Nature is in with all her great works about her.
As I went on thus, methought my chaise, the wreck of which look'd stately enough at the first, insensibly grew less and less in its size; the freshness of the painting was no more--the gilding lost its lustre--and the whole affair appeared so poor in my eyes--so sorry!--so contemptible! and, in a word, so much worse than the abbess of Andouillets' itself--that I was just opening my mouth to give it to the devil--when a pert vamping chaise- undertaker, stepping nimbly across the street, demanded if Monsieur would have his chaise refitted--No, no, said I, shaking my head sideways--Would Monsieur choose to sell it? rejoined the undertaker--With all my soul, said I--the iron work is worth forty livres--and the glasses worth forty more-- and the leather you may take to live on.
What a mine of wealth, quoth I, as he counted me the money, has this post- chaise brought me in? And this is my usual method of book-keeping, at least with the disasters of life--making a penny of every one of 'em as they happen to me--
--Do, my dear Jenny, tell the world for me, how I behaved under one, the most oppressive of its kind, which could befal me as a man, proud as he ought to be of his manhood--
'Tis enough, saidst thou, coming close up to me, as I stood with my garters in my hand, reflecting upon what had not pass'd--'Tis enough, Tristram, and I am satisfied, saidst thou, whispering these words in my ear, .... .. .... ... ......;--...... ...--any other man would have sunk down to the centre--
--Every thing is good for something, quoth I.
--I'll go into Wales for six weeks, and drink goat's whey--and I'll gain seven years longer life for the accident. For which reason I think myself inexcusable, for blaming Fortune so often as I have done, for pelting me all my life long, like an ungracious duchess, as I call'd her, with so many small evils: surely, if I have any cause to be angry with her, 'tis that she has not sent me great ones--a score of good cursed, bouncing losses, would have been as good as a pension to me.
--One of a hundred a year, or so, is all I wish--I would not be at the plague of paying land-tax for a larger.
Chapter 4.XI.
To those who call vexations, Vexations, as knowing what they are, there could not be a greater, than to be the best part of a day at Lyons, the most opulent and flourishing city in France, enriched with the most fragments of antiquity--and not be able to see it. To be withheld upon any account, must be a vexation; but to be withheld by a vexation--must certainly be, what philosophy justly calls Vexation upon Vexation.
I had got my two dishes of milk coffee (which by the bye is excellently good for a consumption, but you must boil the milk and coffee together-- otherwise 'tis only coffee and milk)--and as it was no more than eight in the morning, and the boat did not go off till noon, I had time to see enough of Lyons to tire the patience of all the friends I had in the world with it. I will take a walk to the cathedral, said I, looking at my list, and see the wonderful mechanism of this great clock of Lippius of Basil, in the first place--
Now, of all things in the world, I understand the least of mechanism--I have neither genius, or taste, or fancy--and have a brain so entirely unapt for every thing of that kind, that I solemnly declare I was never yet able to comprehend the principles of motion of a squirrel cage, or a common knife-grinder's wheel--tho' I have many an hour of my life look'd up with great devotion at the one--and
As I went on thus, methought my chaise, the wreck of which look'd stately enough at the first, insensibly grew less and less in its size; the freshness of the painting was no more--the gilding lost its lustre--and the whole affair appeared so poor in my eyes--so sorry!--so contemptible! and, in a word, so much worse than the abbess of Andouillets' itself--that I was just opening my mouth to give it to the devil--when a pert vamping chaise- undertaker, stepping nimbly across the street, demanded if Monsieur would have his chaise refitted--No, no, said I, shaking my head sideways--Would Monsieur choose to sell it? rejoined the undertaker--With all my soul, said I--the iron work is worth forty livres--and the glasses worth forty more-- and the leather you may take to live on.
What a mine of wealth, quoth I, as he counted me the money, has this post- chaise brought me in? And this is my usual method of book-keeping, at least with the disasters of life--making a penny of every one of 'em as they happen to me--
--Do, my dear Jenny, tell the world for me, how I behaved under one, the most oppressive of its kind, which could befal me as a man, proud as he ought to be of his manhood--
'Tis enough, saidst thou, coming close up to me, as I stood with my garters in my hand, reflecting upon what had not pass'd--'Tis enough, Tristram, and I am satisfied, saidst thou, whispering these words in my ear, .... .. .... ... ......;--...... ...--any other man would have sunk down to the centre--
--Every thing is good for something, quoth I.
--I'll go into Wales for six weeks, and drink goat's whey--and I'll gain seven years longer life for the accident. For which reason I think myself inexcusable, for blaming Fortune so often as I have done, for pelting me all my life long, like an ungracious duchess, as I call'd her, with so many small evils: surely, if I have any cause to be angry with her, 'tis that she has not sent me great ones--a score of good cursed, bouncing losses, would have been as good as a pension to me.
--One of a hundred a year, or so, is all I wish--I would not be at the plague of paying land-tax for a larger.
Chapter 4.XI.
To those who call vexations, Vexations, as knowing what they are, there could not be a greater, than to be the best part of a day at Lyons, the most opulent and flourishing city in France, enriched with the most fragments of antiquity--and not be able to see it. To be withheld upon any account, must be a vexation; but to be withheld by a vexation--must certainly be, what philosophy justly calls Vexation upon Vexation.
I had got my two dishes of milk coffee (which by the bye is excellently good for a consumption, but you must boil the milk and coffee together-- otherwise 'tis only coffee and milk)--and as it was no more than eight in the morning, and the boat did not go off till noon, I had time to see enough of Lyons to tire the patience of all the friends I had in the world with it. I will take a walk to the cathedral, said I, looking at my list, and see the wonderful mechanism of this great clock of Lippius of Basil, in the first place--
Now, of all things in the world, I understand the least of mechanism--I have neither genius, or taste, or fancy--and have a brain so entirely unapt for every thing of that kind, that I solemnly declare I was never yet able to comprehend the principles of motion of a squirrel cage, or a common knife-grinder's wheel--tho' I have many an hour of my life look'd up with great devotion at the one--and