The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy [219]
your honour, quoth Trim, the fortifications are quite destroyed--and the bason is upon a level with the mole--I think so too; replied my uncle Toby with a sigh half suppress'd--but step into the parlour, Trim, for the stipulation--it lies upon the table.
It has lain there these six weeks, replied the corporal, till this very morning that the old woman kindled the fire with it--
--Then, said my uncle Toby, there is no further occasion for our services. The more, an' please your honour, the pity, said the corporal; in uttering which he cast his spade into the wheel-barrow, which was beside him, with an air the most expressive of disconsolation that can be imagined, and was heavily turning about to look for his pickax, his pioneer's shovel, his picquets, and other little military stores, in order to carry them off the field--when a heigh-ho! from the sentry-box, which being made of thin slit deal, reverberated the sound more sorrowfully to his ear, forbad him.
--No; said the corporal to himself, I'll do it before his honour rises to- morrow morning; so taking his spade out of the wheel-barrow again, with a little earth in it, as if to level something at the foot of the glacis--but with a real intent to approach nearer to his master, in order to divert him--he loosen'd a sod or two--pared their edges with his spade, and having given them a gentle blow or two with the back of it, he sat himself down close by my uncle Toby's feet and began as follows.
Chapter 4.XLIII.
It was a thousand pities--though I believe, an' please your honour, I am going to say but a foolish kind of a thing for a soldier--
A soldier, cried my uncle Toby, interrupting the corporal, is no more exempt from saying a foolish thing, Trim, than a man of letters--But not so often, an' please your honour, replied the corporal--my uncle Toby gave a nod.
It was a thousand pities then, said the corporal, casting his eye upon Dunkirk, and the mole, as Servius Sulpicius, in returning out of Asia (when he sailed from Aegina towards Megara), did upon Corinth and Pyreus--
--'It was a thousand pities, an' please your honour, to destroy these works--and a thousand pities to have let them stood.'--
--Thou art right, Trim, in both cases; said my uncle Toby.--This, continued the corporal, is the reason, that from the beginning of their demolition to the end--I have never once whistled, or sung, or laugh'd, or cry'd, or talk'd of past done deeds, or told your honour one story good or bad--
--Thou hast many excellencies, Trim, said my uncle Toby, and I hold it not the least of them, as thou happenest to be a story-teller, that of the number thou hast told me, either to amuse me in my painful hours, or divert me in my grave ones--thou hast seldom told me a bad one--
--Because, an' please your honour, except one of a King of Bohemia and his seven castles,--they are all true; for they are about myself--
I do not like the subject the worse, Trim, said my uncle Toby, on that score: But prithee what is this story? thou hast excited my curiosity.
I'll tell it your honour, quoth the corporal, directly--Provided, said my uncle Toby, looking earnestly towards Dunkirk and the mole again--provided it is not a merry one; to such, Trim, a man should ever bring one half of the entertainment along with him; and the disposition I am in at present would wrong both thee, Trim, and thy story--It is not a merry one by any means, replied the corporal--Nor would I have it altogether a grave one, added my uncle Toby--It is neither the one nor the other, replied the corporal, but will suit your honour exactly--Then I'll thank thee for it with all my heart, cried my uncle Toby; so prithee begin it, Trim.
The corporal made his reverence; and though it is not so easy a matter as the world imagines, to pull off a lank Montero-cap with grace--or a whit less difficult, in my conceptions, when a man is sitting squat upon the ground, to make a bow so teeming with respect as the corporal was wont; yet by suffering the palm of his right hand, which was towards his
It has lain there these six weeks, replied the corporal, till this very morning that the old woman kindled the fire with it--
--Then, said my uncle Toby, there is no further occasion for our services. The more, an' please your honour, the pity, said the corporal; in uttering which he cast his spade into the wheel-barrow, which was beside him, with an air the most expressive of disconsolation that can be imagined, and was heavily turning about to look for his pickax, his pioneer's shovel, his picquets, and other little military stores, in order to carry them off the field--when a heigh-ho! from the sentry-box, which being made of thin slit deal, reverberated the sound more sorrowfully to his ear, forbad him.
--No; said the corporal to himself, I'll do it before his honour rises to- morrow morning; so taking his spade out of the wheel-barrow again, with a little earth in it, as if to level something at the foot of the glacis--but with a real intent to approach nearer to his master, in order to divert him--he loosen'd a sod or two--pared their edges with his spade, and having given them a gentle blow or two with the back of it, he sat himself down close by my uncle Toby's feet and began as follows.
Chapter 4.XLIII.
It was a thousand pities--though I believe, an' please your honour, I am going to say but a foolish kind of a thing for a soldier--
A soldier, cried my uncle Toby, interrupting the corporal, is no more exempt from saying a foolish thing, Trim, than a man of letters--But not so often, an' please your honour, replied the corporal--my uncle Toby gave a nod.
It was a thousand pities then, said the corporal, casting his eye upon Dunkirk, and the mole, as Servius Sulpicius, in returning out of Asia (when he sailed from Aegina towards Megara), did upon Corinth and Pyreus--
--'It was a thousand pities, an' please your honour, to destroy these works--and a thousand pities to have let them stood.'--
--Thou art right, Trim, in both cases; said my uncle Toby.--This, continued the corporal, is the reason, that from the beginning of their demolition to the end--I have never once whistled, or sung, or laugh'd, or cry'd, or talk'd of past done deeds, or told your honour one story good or bad--
--Thou hast many excellencies, Trim, said my uncle Toby, and I hold it not the least of them, as thou happenest to be a story-teller, that of the number thou hast told me, either to amuse me in my painful hours, or divert me in my grave ones--thou hast seldom told me a bad one--
--Because, an' please your honour, except one of a King of Bohemia and his seven castles,--they are all true; for they are about myself--
I do not like the subject the worse, Trim, said my uncle Toby, on that score: But prithee what is this story? thou hast excited my curiosity.
I'll tell it your honour, quoth the corporal, directly--Provided, said my uncle Toby, looking earnestly towards Dunkirk and the mole again--provided it is not a merry one; to such, Trim, a man should ever bring one half of the entertainment along with him; and the disposition I am in at present would wrong both thee, Trim, and thy story--It is not a merry one by any means, replied the corporal--Nor would I have it altogether a grave one, added my uncle Toby--It is neither the one nor the other, replied the corporal, but will suit your honour exactly--Then I'll thank thee for it with all my heart, cried my uncle Toby; so prithee begin it, Trim.
The corporal made his reverence; and though it is not so easy a matter as the world imagines, to pull off a lank Montero-cap with grace--or a whit less difficult, in my conceptions, when a man is sitting squat upon the ground, to make a bow so teeming with respect as the corporal was wont; yet by suffering the palm of his right hand, which was towards his