The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy [38]
real name was James Butler,--but having got the nick-name of Trim, in the regiment, my uncle Toby, unless when he happened to be very angry with him, would never call him by any other name.
The poor fellow had been disabled for the service, by a wound on his left knee by a musket-bullet, at the battle of Landen, which was two years before the affair of Namur;--and as the fellow was well-beloved in the regiment, and a handy fellow into the bargain, my uncle Toby took him for his servant; and of an excellent use was he, attending my uncle Toby in the camp and in his quarters as a valet, groom, barber, cook, sempster, and nurse; and indeed, from first to last, waited upon him and served him with great fidelity and affection.
My uncle Toby loved the man in return, and what attached him more to him still, was the similitude of their knowledge.--For Corporal Trim, (for so, for the future, I shall call him) by four years occasional attention to his Master's discourse upon fortified towns, and the advantage of prying and peeping continually into his Master's plans, &c. exclusive and besides what he gained Hobby-Horsically, as a body-servant, Non Hobby Horsical per se;-- had become no mean proficient in the science; and was thought, by the cook and chamber-maid, to know as much of the nature of strong-holds as my uncle Toby himself.
I have but one more stroke to give to finish Corporal Trim's character,-- and it is the only dark line in it.--The fellow loved to advise,--or rather to hear himself talk; his carriage, however, was so perfectly respectful, 'twas easy to keep him silent when you had him so; but set his tongue a- going,--you had no hold of him--he was voluble;--the eternal interlardings of your Honour, with the respectfulness of Corporal Trim's manner, interceding so strong in behalf of his elocution,--that though you might have been incommoded,--you could not well be angry. My uncle Toby was seldom either the one or the other with him,--or, at least, this fault, in Trim, broke no squares with them. My uncle Toby, as I said, loved the man;--and besides, as he ever looked upon a faithful servant,--but as an humble friend,--he could not bear to stop his mouth.--Such was Corporal Trim.
If I durst presume, continued Trim, to give your Honour my advice, and speak my opinion in this matter.--Thou art welcome, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby--speak,--speak what thou thinkest upon the subject, man, without fear.--Why then, replied Trim, (not hanging his ears and scratching his head like a country-lout, but) stroking his hair back from his forehead, and standing erect as before his division,--I think, quoth Trim, advancing his left, which was his lame leg, a little forwards,--and pointing with his right hand open towards a map of Dunkirk, which was pinned against the hangings,--I think, quoth Corporal Trim, with humble submission to your Honour's better judgment,--that these ravelins, bastions, curtins, and hornworks, make but a poor, contemptible, fiddle-faddle piece of work of it here upon paper, compared to what your Honour and I could make of it were we in the country by ourselves, and had but a rood, or a rood and a half of ground to do what we pleased with: As summer is coming on, continued Trim, your Honour might sit out of doors, and give me the nography--(Call it ichnography, quoth my uncle,)--of the town or citadel, your Honour was pleased to sit down before,--and I will be shot by your Honour upon the glacis of it, if I did not fortify it to your Honour's mind.--I dare say thou would'st, Trim, quoth my uncle.--For if your Honour, continued the Corporal, could but mark me the polygon, with its exact lines and angles-- That I could do very well, quoth my uncle.--I would begin with the fosse, and if your Honour could tell me the proper depth and breadth--I can to a hair's breadth, Trim, replied my uncle.--I would throw out the earth upon this hand towards the town for the scarp,--and on that hand towards the campaign for the counterscarp.--Very right, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby:--And when I had sloped them to your
The poor fellow had been disabled for the service, by a wound on his left knee by a musket-bullet, at the battle of Landen, which was two years before the affair of Namur;--and as the fellow was well-beloved in the regiment, and a handy fellow into the bargain, my uncle Toby took him for his servant; and of an excellent use was he, attending my uncle Toby in the camp and in his quarters as a valet, groom, barber, cook, sempster, and nurse; and indeed, from first to last, waited upon him and served him with great fidelity and affection.
My uncle Toby loved the man in return, and what attached him more to him still, was the similitude of their knowledge.--For Corporal Trim, (for so, for the future, I shall call him) by four years occasional attention to his Master's discourse upon fortified towns, and the advantage of prying and peeping continually into his Master's plans, &c. exclusive and besides what he gained Hobby-Horsically, as a body-servant, Non Hobby Horsical per se;-- had become no mean proficient in the science; and was thought, by the cook and chamber-maid, to know as much of the nature of strong-holds as my uncle Toby himself.
I have but one more stroke to give to finish Corporal Trim's character,-- and it is the only dark line in it.--The fellow loved to advise,--or rather to hear himself talk; his carriage, however, was so perfectly respectful, 'twas easy to keep him silent when you had him so; but set his tongue a- going,--you had no hold of him--he was voluble;--the eternal interlardings of your Honour, with the respectfulness of Corporal Trim's manner, interceding so strong in behalf of his elocution,--that though you might have been incommoded,--you could not well be angry. My uncle Toby was seldom either the one or the other with him,--or, at least, this fault, in Trim, broke no squares with them. My uncle Toby, as I said, loved the man;--and besides, as he ever looked upon a faithful servant,--but as an humble friend,--he could not bear to stop his mouth.--Such was Corporal Trim.
If I durst presume, continued Trim, to give your Honour my advice, and speak my opinion in this matter.--Thou art welcome, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby--speak,--speak what thou thinkest upon the subject, man, without fear.--Why then, replied Trim, (not hanging his ears and scratching his head like a country-lout, but) stroking his hair back from his forehead, and standing erect as before his division,--I think, quoth Trim, advancing his left, which was his lame leg, a little forwards,--and pointing with his right hand open towards a map of Dunkirk, which was pinned against the hangings,--I think, quoth Corporal Trim, with humble submission to your Honour's better judgment,--that these ravelins, bastions, curtins, and hornworks, make but a poor, contemptible, fiddle-faddle piece of work of it here upon paper, compared to what your Honour and I could make of it were we in the country by ourselves, and had but a rood, or a rood and a half of ground to do what we pleased with: As summer is coming on, continued Trim, your Honour might sit out of doors, and give me the nography--(Call it ichnography, quoth my uncle,)--of the town or citadel, your Honour was pleased to sit down before,--and I will be shot by your Honour upon the glacis of it, if I did not fortify it to your Honour's mind.--I dare say thou would'st, Trim, quoth my uncle.--For if your Honour, continued the Corporal, could but mark me the polygon, with its exact lines and angles-- That I could do very well, quoth my uncle.--I would begin with the fosse, and if your Honour could tell me the proper depth and breadth--I can to a hair's breadth, Trim, replied my uncle.--I would throw out the earth upon this hand towards the town for the scarp,--and on that hand towards the campaign for the counterscarp.--Very right, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby:--And when I had sloped them to your