been run over by a dragoon in the retreat,——he had saved thee;——Saved! cried Trim, interrupting Yorick, and finishing the sentence for him after his own fashion,——he had saved five battalions, an’ please your reverence, every soul of them:——there was Cutt’s—continued the corporal, clapping the forefinger of his right hand upon the thumb of his left, and counting round his hand,——there was Cutt’s,——Mackay’s,——Angus’s,——Graham’s——and Leven’s,2 all cut to pieces;——and so had the English life-guards too, had it not been for some regiments upon the right, who marched up boldly to their relief, and received the enemy’s fire in their faces, before any one of their own platoons discharged a musket,——they’ll go to heaven for it,—added Trim.—Trim is right, said my uncle Toby, nodding to Yorick,——he’s perfectly right. What signified his marching the horse, continued the corporal, where the ground was so strait, and the French had such a nation of hedges, and copses, and ditches, and fell’d trees laid this way and that to cover them; (as they always have.)——Count Solmes should have sent us,——we would have fired muzzle to muzzle with them for their lives.——There was nothing to be done for the horse:——he had his foot shot off however for his pains, continued the corporal, the very next campaign at Landen.3—Poor Trim got his wound there, quoth my uncle Toby.——’twas owing, an’ please your honour, entirely to count Solmes,——had we drub’d them soundly at Steenkirk, they would not have fought us at Landen.——Possibly not,——Trim, said my uncle Toby;——though if they have the advantage of a wood, or you give them a moment’s time to intrench themselves, they are a nation which will pop and pop for ever at you.——There is no way but to march cooly up to them,——receive their fire, and fall in upon them, pell-mell——Ding dong, added Trim.——Horse and foot, said my uncle Toby.——Helter skelter, said Trim.——Right and left, cried my uncle Toby.——Blood an’ ounds,4 shouted the corporal;——the battle raged,——Yorick drew his chair a little to one side for safety, and after a moment’s pause, my uncle Toby sinking his voice a note,—resumed the discourse as follows.
CHAP. XXII
King William, said my uncle Toby, addressing himself to Yorick, was so terribly provoked at count Solmes for disobeying his orders, that he would not suffer him to come into his presence for many months after.——I fear, answered Yorick, the squire will be as much provoked at the corporal, as the King at the count.——But ’twould be singularly hard in this case, continued he, if corporal Trim, who has behaved so diametrically opposite to count Solmes, should have the fate to be rewarded with the same disgrace;——too oft in this world, do things take that train.——I would spring a mine, cried my uncle Toby, rising up,——and blow up my fortifications, and my house with them, and we would perish under their ruins, ere I would stand by and see it.——Trim directed a slight,——but a grateful bow towards his master,——and so the chapter ends.
CHAP. XXIII
——Then, Yorick, replied my uncle Toby, you and I will lead the way abreast,——and do you, corporal, follow a few paces behind us.——And Susannah, an’ please your honour, said Trim, shall be put in the rear.——’twas an excellent disposition,—and in this order, without either drums beating, or colours flying, they marched slowly from my uncle Toby’s house to Shandy-hall.****
——I wish, said Trim, as they entered the door,—instead of the sash-weights, I had cut off the church-spout, as I once thought to have done.—You have cut off spouts enow, replied Yorick.——
CHAP. XXIV
As many pictures as have been given of my father, how like him soever in different airs and attitudes,—not one, or all of them, can ever help the reader to any kind of preconception of how my father would think, speak, or act, upon any untried occasion or occurrence of life.—There was that infinitude of oddities in him, and of chances along with it, by which handle he would take a thing,—it baffled, Sir, all calculations.——The truth was, his road lay so very far on one side, from