The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman - Laurence Sterne [71]
“As, therefore, we can have no dependence upon morality without religion;—so, on the other hand, there is nothing better to be expected from religion without morality;—nevertheless, ’tis no prodigy to see a man whose real moral character stands very low, who yet entertains the highest notion of himself, in the light of a religious man.
“He shall not only be covetous, revengeful, implacable,——but even wanting in points of common honesty; yet, inasmuch as he talks aloud against the infidelity of the age,—is zealous for some points of religion,——goes twice a day to church,—attends the sacraments,—and amuses himself with a few instrumental parts of religion,38—shall cheat his conscience into a judgment that, for this, he is a religious man, and has discharged truly his duty to God: And you will find that such a man, thro’ force of this delusion, generally looks down with spiritual pride upon every other man who has less affectation of piety,–Tho’, perhaps, ten times more moral honesty than himself.
“This likewise is a sore evil under the sun;39 and I believe there is no one mistaken principle which, for its time, has wrought more serious mischiefs.—For a general proof of this,—examine the history40 of the Romish Church;—[Well, what can you make of that, cried Dr. Slop?]—see what scenes of cruelty, murders, rapines, blood-shed, [They may thank their own obstinacy, cried Dr. Slop] have all been sanctified by a religion not strictly governed by morality.
“In how many kingdoms of the world, [Here Trim kept waving his right hand from the sermon to the extent of his arm, returning it backwards and forwards to the conclusion of the paragraph.]
“In how many kingdoms of the world has the crusading sword of this misguided saint-errant41 spared neither age, or merit, or sex, or condition?—and, as he fought under the banners of a religion which set him loose from justice and humanity, he shew’d none; mercilessly trampled upon both,——heard neither the cries of the unfortunate, nor pitied their distresses.”
[I have been in many a battle, an’ please your Honour, quoth Trim, sighing, but never in so melancholy a one as this.—I would not have drawn a tricker42 in it, against these poor souls,——to have been made a general officer.—Why, what do you understand of the affair? said Doctor Slop, looking towards Trim with something more contempt than the Corporal’s honest heart deserved.—What do you know, friend, about this battle you talk of?——I know, replied Trim, that I never refused quarter in my life to any man who cried out for it;—but to a woman or a child, continued Trim, before I would level my musket at them, I would lose my life a thousand times.—Here’s a crown for thee, Trim, to drink with Obadiah to-night, quoth my uncle Toby, and I’ll give Obadiah another too.–God bless your Honour, replied Trim,—I had rather these poor women and children had it.—Thou art an honest fellow, quoth my uncle Toby.----My father nodded his head,—as much as to say,—and so he is.———
But pri’thee, Trim, said my father, make an end,—for I see thou hast but a leaf or two left.]
Corporal Trim read on.
“If the testimony of past centuries in this matter is not sufficient,——consider, at this instant, how the votaries of that religion are every day thinking to do service and honour to God, by actions which are a dishonour and scandal to themselves.
“To be convinced of this, go with me for a moment into the Prisons of the inquisition. [God help my poor brother Tom.]——Behold Religion, with Mercy and Justice chained down under her feet,——there sitting ghastly upon a black tribunal, propp’d up with racks and instruments of torment. Hark!—hark! what a piteous groan! [Here Trim’s face turned as pale as ashes.] See the melancholy wretch who utter’d it—[Here the tears began to trickle down] just brought forth to undergo