The Magus - John Fowles [226]
the help of Dr. Marcus and we think that this emotional attachment can be broken into two components. One originated in a physical attraction for him, artificially exaggerated by the role I had to play. The second component was empathetic in nature. The subject's self-pity is projected so strongly on his environment that one becomes contaminated by it. I thought this was of interest in view of Professor Ciardi's comment." I didn't; I knew it was simply another turn of the screw of humiliation. The old man nodded. "Thank you." She sat down. He looked up at me. "All this may seem cruel to you. But we wish to hide nothing." He looked at Lily. "As regards the first component of your attachment, sexual attraction, would you describe to the subject and to us your present feelings?" "I consider that the subject would make a very inadequate husband except as a sexual partner." Ice-cold; she looked at me, then back to the old man. Dr. Marcus intervened. "He has basic marriage-destructive drives?" "Yes." "Specifically?" "Infidelity. Selfishness. Inconsiderateness in everyday routines. Possibly, homosexual tendencies." The old man: "Would the situation be altered if he had analysis?" "In my opinion, no." The old man turned. "Maurice?" Conchis spoke, staring at me. "I think we are all agreed that he has been an admirable subject for our purposes, but he has masochistic traits that will get pleasure even out of our discussion of his faults. In my opinion our further interest in him is now both harmful to him and unnecessary." The old man looked up at me. "Under narcosis it was discovered that you are still strongly attached to Dr. Maxwell. Some of us have been concerned about the effect that the loss of the young Australian girl, for which, I may also tell you, you feel deeply guilty in your unconscious, and now the second loss of the mythical figure you know as Lily, may have on you. I refer to the possibility of suicide. Our conclusion has been this: that your attachment to self-gratification is too deep to make any other than a hysterical attempt at suicide likely. And against this we advise you to guard." I gave a sarcastic bow of thanks. Dignity, keep some remnant of dignity. "Now... does anyone wish to say anything more?" He looked both ways down the table. They all shook their heads. "Very well. We have come to the end of our experiment." He gestured for the "board" to stand, which they did. The "audience" remained sitting. He looked at me. "We have not concealed our real opinion of you; and since this is a trial we have of course been acting as witnesses against ourselves. You are, I remind you once again, the judge, and the time has now come for you to judge us. We have, first of all, selected a _pharmakos_. A scapegoat." He looked to his left. Lily took off her glasses, stepped round the table and came and stood at the foot of the dais in front of me, with a bowed head; the white woollen dress, a penitential. Even then I was so stupid that I saw some fantastic new development; a mock wedding, some absurd happy ending... and I thought grimly what I would do if they dared try that on. "She is your prisoner, but you cannot do what you like with her, because the code of medical justice under which we exist specifies a precise type of punishment for the crime of destroying all power of forgiveness in the subject of our experiments." He turned round to Adam, who stood near the archway. "The apparatus." Adam called something. The other people behind the table stood to one side; in a compact group, facing the "students," with the old man at their head. Four black-uniformed men came in. They quickly moved the sedan-coffin and two of the tables, so that the centre of the room was left free. The third table was lifted in front of me, beside Lily. Then two of the men left and returned carrying a heavy wooden frame, like a door frame, on bracketed legs. Six or seven feet up, at the top of the uprights, were iron rings. Lily turned and walked to where they set it, some halfway down the room. She stood in front of it and held up her arms.