The Magus - John Fowles [98]
"When can I see you again? Not here. Somewhere else." She would not look up. "I'm not allowed outside Bourani." "He won't let you go out?" She shook her head; I had misunderstood. "I can't let myself go out. For the same reason. Not being able to lie." "You mean he has some way of forcing the truth out of you?" "Not forcing. It's more complicated than that." She said, but vaguely as if against her will. "I love him. Please don't force me to explain." She looked as if she was on the point of tears again. I took her hand and pressed it. "When shall I see you again?" "The next time Maurice asks you here." "Next week?" "We're going away next week." "Where will you be?" She got up and moved away down the slope towards the statue into the burning light at the centre of the glade. I watched her slim shape for a moment, then joined her. She seemed miserably ill at ease. She sat on the rock pedestal, in the shadow of Poseidon; bent and picked a sprig of oregano and smelt it; would not look up. "What does it matter? You're going to Athens." I narrowed my eyes and looked down at her blonde head. There was a distinct, too distinct, tinge of jealousy in her voice; of hurtness. I sat down abruptly at her feet and forced her to look me in the eyes. She tried to look away, to look reserved and hurt, but I reached out my hand and turned her cheek back. "Why do you do that?" "I smell a rat. A rat about five feet eight--nine?--inches long." She smiled, at the joke, not at any bluff being called. "I didn't know such monsters existed." "Neither did I. Till this afternoon." Our eyes watched each other in some peculiar zone between teasing, unbelieving, believing, liking; I realised everything with her was in parentheses. What she was outside those parentheses I was no nearer to knowing. "We're being watched. Don't look round." "Where? Who by? Maurice?" "I always know when he's watching. I can feel it." "You sound as if you owe him nothing but fear at the moment." She gave me a troubled look. "It's what I'm trying to say. Sometimes he makes me do things--I don't really want to do." "Such as?" "He wants me to do what you said. Make you fall in love with me." "Wants you to? In _love?_" She nodded. "But why, for heaven's sake? I mean I'm delighted that he does, but --" I was thinking of his advice about Alison. "God, it just doesn't make sense." "He wants to lead you into a... sort of trap." "And you're the bait?" "Yes." "Have to be the bait? Can't say no?" She shook her head. "What is the trap?" "I can't tell you." I ran my hand over my hair. "I feel as if I've been too well spun in a game of blindman's buff." She smiled, but very briefly. She crumbled the oregano leaves between her fingers. "Maurice doesn't realise how quick you are. And that I can't really cope this year. I knew as soon as I saw you last night." I gripped her knee. "This year?" She gave a little smile of confessed guilt; pushed my hand away. "Last year it was... easy." "Well, well, well. That bastard Mitford." "Yes, lie was. What you say." "You made _him_ fall in love with you?" "No! Ugh. I couldn't. It wasn't necessary." "Tell me now." "Tell you what?" "Your name. Where you come from at home. Who you are." She bit her lips as if my fierce interrogation was amusing. "No. I can't. Not yet." "But you must. It's ridiculous." Her eyes flicked back towards the house. "Please don't look upset. Come and sit beside me. Smile a little. As if we're just teasing and... flirting." She put on an insincere smile as if to show me the way. I did as she said. "Now put your arm round my shoulders." Her eyes were down and she looked embarrassed; she drew an unsentimental breath, as if it was all an ordeal. "I don't find this too unpleasant." "I do. I hate it." "You've been hiding it pretty well." "You've got to kiss me now. Please do it quickly." She turned her head rather desperately and closed her eyes. I Looked round at the trees quickly and then kissed her mouth. But it remained tightly held against mine except for one small tremor of response just as she pushed me away. "I must go now. I've