The Mammoth Hunters - Jean M. Auel [193]
Rydag stared at Ayla in disbelief. He didn’t entirely understand all the implications, but one thing seemed certain. She had a son, mixed like him, who lived with the Clan!
“What happened at the Clan Gathering seven years ago, Ayla?” Mamut asked, not wanting to let it drop when he had seemed so close to getting an agreement from Ayla to begin training, although she had brought up some intriguing points he would like to ask her about. He was convinced that it was not only important, it was essential, for her own sake.
Ayla closed her eyes with a pained expression. “Iza is too sick to go. She tell Brun I am medicine woman, Brun make ceremony. She tell me how to chew root to make drink for mog-urs. Tell only, cannot show me. Is too … sacred to make for practice. Mog-urs at Clan Gathering not want me, I am not Clan. But no one else knows, only Iza’s line. Finally say yes. Iza tell me not swallow juice when I chew, spit into bowl, but I cannot. I swallow some. Later, I am confused, go into cave, follow fires, find mog-urs. They not see me, but Creb knows.”
She became agitated again, paced back and forth. “It is dark, like deep hole, and I am falling.” She hunched her shoulders, rubbed her arms, as though she was cold. “Then Creb come, like you, Mamut, but more. He … he … take me with him.”
She was silent then, pacing. Finally she stopped and spoke again. “Later, Creb is very angry and unhappy. And I am … different. I never say, but sometimes I think I go back there, and I am … frightened.”
Mamut waited, to see if she was finished. He had some idea what she had gone through. He had been allowed at a Clan ceremony. They used certain plants in unique ways, and he had experienced something unfathomable. He had tried, but he had never been able to duplicate the experience, even after he became Mamut. He was about to say something when Ayla spoke again.
“Sometimes I want to throw root away, but Iza tell me is sacred.”
It took a moment for the meaning of Ayla’s words to register, but the shock of recognition nearly brought him to his feet.
“Are you saying you have that root with you?” he asked, finding it difficult to control his excitement.
“When I leave, take medicine bag. Root is in medicine bag, in special red pouch.”
“But is it still good? You say it’s been more than three years since you left. Wouldn’t it lose potency in that time?”
“No, is prepared special way. After root is dried, keeps long time. Many years.”
“Ayla,” the Mamut began, trying to phrase his words just right, “it could be very fortunate that you have it still. You know, the best way to overcome a fear is to face it. Would you be willing to prepare that root again? Just for you and me?”
Ayla shivered at the thought. “I do not know, Mamut. I do not want to. I am frightened.”
“I don’t mean right away,” he said. “Not until you have had some training and are prepared for it. And it should be a special ceremony, with deep meaning and significance. Perhaps the Spring Festival, the beginning of new life.” He saw her shake again. “It’s up to you, but you do not have to decide now. All I ask is that you allow me to begin training and preparation. When spring comes, if you don’t feel ready, you can say no.”
“What is training?” Ayla asked.
“First, I would want you to learn certain songs and chants, and how to use the mammoth skull. Then there is the meaning of certain symbols and signs.”
Rydag watched her close her eyes and frown. He hoped she would agree. He had just learned more about his mother’s people than he ever knew, but he wanted to learn more. If Mamut and Ayla planned a ceremony with Clan rituals, he was sure he would.
When Ayla opened them, her eyes looked troubled, but she swallowed hard, and then nodded. “Yes, Mamut. I try to face fear of spirit world, if you will help me.”
As Mamut lay back down, he didn’t notice Ayla clutch the small decorated bag she wore around her neck.
21
“Hu! Hu! Hu! That’s three!” Crozie cried out, chuckling shrewdly as she counted the discs with the marked side up that had been caught in the shallow