The Mammoth Hunters - Jean M. Auel [291]
“I don’t know, Ayla. I have not been there before. It was another place, perhaps another time. Maybe it was not a real place,” he said, thoughtfully.
“It must have been,” she said. “Those things felt like real things, and some of it was familiar. That empty place, that darkness, I was there with Creb.”
“I believe you when you say your Creb was powerful. Perhaps even more than you realize, if he could direct and control that place.”
“Yes, he was, Mamut, but …” A thought occurred to Ayla, but she wasn’t sure if she could express it. “Creb controlled that place, he showed me his memories and our beginnings, but I don’t think Creb ever went where we went, Mamut. I don’t think he could. Maybe that’s what protected me. He had certain powers, and he could control them, but they were different. The place we went this time, that was a new place. He couldn’t go to a new place, he could only go where he had been. But maybe he saw that I could. I wonder if that’s what made him so sad?”
Mamut nodded. “Perhaps, but more important, that place was far more dangerous than I imagined it would be. I tried to make light of it for the sake of the Camp. If we had been gone much longer, we would not have been able to return at all. And we did not come back by ourselves. We were helped by … by someone who had such a strong … desire for us to return, it overcame all obstacles. When such single-minded strength of will is directed to achieve its purpose, no boundary can resist, except, perhaps, death itself.”
Ayla frowned, obviously troubled, and Mamut wondered if she knew who had brought them back, or understood why such single-minded purpose could be required for her protection. She would in time, but it was not for him to tell her. She had to find out for herself.
“I will never go to that place again,” he continued. “I am too old. I do not want my spirit lost in that void. Someday, when you have developed your powers, you may want to go again. I would not advise it, but if you go, make sure you have powerful protection. Make sure someone waits for you who can call you back.”
When Ayla walked back toward her bed, she looked for Jondalar, but he had backed off when Ranec brought the tea, and now he was staying out of the way. Though he hadn’t hesitated to go to her when he felt she was in danger, he was unsure now. She had just Promised to the Mamutoi carver. What right did he have to be holding her in his arms? And everyone seemed to know what to do, bringing her hot drinks and furs. He had felt that, because he wanted her so much, he might have helped in some strange way, but when he thought about it, he began to doubt it. She was probably coming back then, anyway, he told himself. It was coincidence. I just happened to be there. She won’t even remember.
Ranec went to Ayla when she was through talking to Mamut, and begged her to come to his bed, not to couple, just so he could hold her and keep her warm. But she insisted she would feel more comfortable in her own bed. He finally agreed, but lay awake in his furs for a long time, thinking. Though it had been apparent to everyone, he had been able to ignore Jondalar’s continued interest in Ayla, in spite of his leaving the Mammoth Hearth. After this night, however, Ranec could not deny the strong feelings that the tall man still had for her, not after watching him plead with the Mother for her life.
He had no doubt that Jondalar had been instrumental in bringing Ayla back, but he did not want to believe that she returned his feelings in kind. She had Promised herself to him that night. Ayla was going to be his woman and share his hearth. He had feared for her, too, and the thought of losing her, whether to some peril, or to another man, only made him want her more.
Jondalar saw Ranec go to her, and breathed easier when he saw the dark man return to his hearth alone, but then he rolled over and pulled the furs over his head. What difference did it make if she went with him this night or not? She would go to him eventually. She had Promised herself to him.
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