The Man Who Ate Everything - Jeffrey Steingarten [52]
I sit down at the computer, log on to Medline, and search for “glycemic index.” On this subject, Montignac has his facts approximately right. There are surprising and unexpected differences between carbohydrates; some cause sugar spikes in the blood, and others do not. The complexity of a carbohydrate molecule does not determine how quickly and energetically it raises the level of glucose. A food’s glycemic index depends not only on the raw ingredient itself but also on how it has been processed and the form in which it is eaten. Fiber eaten with other foods reduces their glycemic effect.
Day Eighteen. Both scales agree—166 pounds. Only a half-pound improvement, but better than nothing.
This evening we will attend a cocktail party at restaurant Daniel for Daniel Boulud’s terrific new cookbook. Cocktail parties are times of greatest danger for Montignac. “British cocktail parties are some of the most tedious to endure. Do not count on being served dinner before 9:30 or 10 o’clock.” But food cooked by Daniel Boulud is always a time of greatest pleasure for me. Tonight will be no problem. I have decided to eat and drink as though I am already in Phase II. How much damage can I do?
In Phase II, although bad carbohydrates are still banned and fruit must still be eaten in isolation, other deviations from the strict rules of Phase I are permitted two or three times a day. Scallops, oysters, foie gras, lentils with pork, for example, are prohibited in Phase I because they combine fat with sugar or starch but are considered only minor deviations in Phase II, as is a half liter of wine a day—three full glasses—always to be drunk with food. So I eat the filet mignon with cranberries, the oysters and caviar with lemongrass and cream, little slivers of rouget, and layers of scallops and black truffle, fastidiously leaving behind the little pieces of toast on which most of these are served. Halfway through the party, I begin drinking wine.
Montignac loves wine, though when he repeatedly recommends that we all drink young Bordeaux, it is hard to tell whether the advice is dietary or aesthetic. He goes so far as to include a seven-page chart entitled “How to Cure Yourself with Wine,” based on the publications of a Dr. Maury. In the left-hand column is a list of diseases beginning with acidosis and running through neurosis and on to ulcers, and in the right-hand column are lists of wines that will remedy the diseases on the left. For acidosis, drink Pouilly-Fuissé and Sancerre; for allergies, try Corbières, Médoc, Minervois, and Ventoux; for anemia, turn to Cahors, Côtes-de-Nuit, Côtes-de-Beaune, Côtes-de-Graves, Pomerol, and Madiran; for angina, open a Médoc, a Julienas, or a Moulin-à-Vent. And that covers only half the A’s.
Day Nineteen. Disaster has struck. My weight is 168.5, up 2.5 pounds. I am gripped by despair. I guess I am not ready for Phase II.
Maybe there are worse things than obesity. Hunger, for example, or a life without Scotch. Maybe I should quit and return to enthusiastic random eating. But then what would I write about?
I leave the bathroom, wait a few minutes, come back, and weigh myself again. Only a half-pound improvement. And now the two scales differ by two full pounds. The Health O Meter seems particularly fickle.
My wife has finally crumbled. She has joined me on the Montignac diet. Twelve pounds from now, she’ll be skinnier than Kate Moss.
Day Twenty. I have returned to my downward path: back to 166 on one scale, 165.5 on the other. This is a new low. Yesterday was a hideous aberration.
A grand lunch in Chinatown with friends: roast suckling pig, roast duck, cuttlefish, clam soup, stir-fried fish cake with pickled mustard greens, squid with Chinese broccoli, grouper with a white pepper coating, and a plate of four types of sausage and cured duck. I avoid the tea and the white rice, and worry a little about the sugars in the marinades and the sauces. Otherwise, Montignac imposes no restrictions on me, even in Phase I.
On television tonight, PrimeTime Live has a segment