The Marriage Plot - Jeffrey Eugenides [148]
“You discussed this with your mother?” Leonard said. He gestured toward the phone. “Is that what you were just talking about?”
Madeleine lifted the phone off her lap and set it back on the coffee table. “I talk to my mother about a lot of things.”
“But lately mostly about me.”
“Sometimes.”
“And what does your mother say?”
Madeleine lowered her head. As if giving herself no time for second thoughts, she said quickly, “My mother doesn’t like you.”
The words hit Leonard like a physical blow. It wasn’t just the content of the statement, which was bad enough. It was Madeleine’s decision to utter it. A thing like that, once said, was not easily unsaid. It would be there from now on, whenever Leonard and Phyllida were in the same room. It brought up the possibility that Madeleine didn’t expect that to happen in the future.
“What do you mean your mother doesn’t like me?”
“She just doesn’t.”
“What about me?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. That’s not what we’re discussing.”
“We’re discussing it now. Your mother doesn’t like me? She only met me once.”
“And it didn’t go very well.”
“When she was here? What happened?”
“Well, for one thing, you shook hands with her.”
“So?”
“So, my mother’s old-fashioned. She doesn’t usually shake hands with men. If she does, she’s the one to initiate it.”
“Sorry. I’m a little behind on my Emily Post.”
“And the way you were dressed. The shorts and the bandanna.”
“It gets hot in the lab,” Leonard protested.
“I’m not justifying how my mother feels,” Madeleine said. “I’m just explaining it. You didn’t make a good first impression. That’s all.”
Leonard could see how this might be true. At the same time, he didn’t believe that his breach of etiquette could have resulted in Phyllida’s turning so definitively against him. But there was another possibility.
“Did you tell her I’m manic-depressive?” he asked.
Madeleine looked at the floor. “She knows,” she said.
“You told her!”
“No, I didn’t. Alwyn did. She found your pills in the bathroom.”
“Your sister went through my stuff? And I’m the one who has bad manners?”
“I got into a huge fight with her about it,” Madeleine said.
Leonard went to the sofa and sat next to Madeleine, taking her hands. He felt, suddenly, embarrassingly close to tears.
“Is that why your mother doesn’t like me?” he said in a pitiful voice. “Because of my manic depression?”
“It’s not just that. She just doesn’t think we’re right for each other.”
“We’re great for each other!” he said, trying to smile, and looking into her eyes for confirmation.
But Madeleine didn’t give it. Instead, she stared at their clasped hands, furrowing her brow.
“I don’t know anymore,” she said.
She pulled her hands away, tucking them under her arms.
“What is it, then?” Leonard said, desperate to know. “Is it because of my family? Is it because I’m poor? Is it because I was on financial aid?”
“It has nothing to do with that.”
“Is your mother worried I’ll pass on my disease to our kids?”
“Leonard, stop.”
“Why should I stop? I want to know. You say your mother doesn’t like me but you won’t say why.”
“She just doesn’t, that’s all.”
She got up and took her coat off the chair. “I’m going out for a little while,” she said.
“Now I see why you got that magazine,” Leonard said, unable to keep from sounding bitter. “You’re hoping to find a cure.”
“What’s wrong with that? You wouldn’t like to get better?”
“I’m sorry that I suffer from a mental disease, Madeleine. I know it’s terribly uncouth. If my parents had only brought me up better, maybe I wouldn’t be this way.”
“That’s not fair!” Madeleine cried, flaring with real anger for the first time. She turned away, as if disgusted with him, and left the apartment.
Leonard stood rooted to the floor. His eyes were filling, but if he kept blinking fast enough, no tears fell. As much as he hated his lithium, here it was his friend. Leonard could feel the huge tide of sadness waiting to rush over him. But there was an invisible barrier keeping