The Marriage Plot - Jeffrey Eugenides [186]
Gagging, she fled back to their room. “Oh my God!” she said. “That bathroom is so gross!”
“You’re just a princess.”
“Go in there! You’ll see.”
Leonard calmly took his toothbrush into the WC and returned, unruffled.
“We have to change hotels,” Madeleine said.
Leonard smirked. Glassy-eyed, he said in a prim voice, “The princess from Prettybrook is appalled!”
As soon as they went to bed, Leonard grabbed her by the hips and turned her onto her stomach. She knew that she shouldn’t let Leonard have sex with her after the way he’d treated her all evening. At the same time, she felt so sad and unwanted that it came as a huge relief to be touched. She was making some awful pact, one that might have consequences for her entire married life. But she couldn’t say no. She let Leonard turn her over and take her, not lovingly, from behind. She wasn’t ready and it hurt at first. Leonard paid no attention, blindly thrusting. She could have been anyone. When it was over Madeleine began to cry, at first quietly, then less quietly. She wanted Leonard to hear. But he was asleep, or pretended to be.
When she woke up the next morning, Leonard wasn’t in the room. Madeleine wanted to call her mother, but it was the middle of the night on the East Coast. And it was dangerous to go on record about Leonard’s behavior. She would never be able to take it back. Instead, she got up and searched his toiletry case for his pill bottles. One was half empty. Leonard had refilled the other one before the wedding, so that he wouldn’t run out while they were in Europe.
Reassured that he was taking his medicine, Madeleine sat on the edge of the bed and tried to figure out how to handle the situation.
The door opened and Leonard burst in. He was beaming, acting as if nothing had happened.
“I just found us a new hotel,” he said. “Much nicer. You’ll like it.”
The temptation to ignore the previous night was great. But Madeleine didn’t want to set a bad precedent. The weight of marriage pressed down on her for the first time. She couldn’t just throw a book at Leonard and leave, as she’d done in the past.
“We need to talk,” she said.
“O.K.,” Leonard said. “How about over breakfast?”
“No. Now.”
“O.K.,” he said again, somewhat softer. He looked around the room for a place to sit, but there was none, so he remained standing.
“You were so mean to me yesterday,” Madeleine said. “First you got mad when I ordered for you. Then you acted like I wasn’t even there at dinner. You kept flirting with the waitress—”
“I wasn’t flirting with the waitress.”
“Yes, you were! You were flirting with her. And then, we came back here and you—you—you just used me like I was a piece of meat!” Saying this made her burst into tears again. Her voice had gone all squeaky and girly in a way she hated but couldn’t help. “You acted like you were … with that waitress!”
“I don’t want to be with the waitress, Madeleine. I want to be with you. I love you. I love you so much.”
These were exactly the words Madeleine wanted to hear. Her intelligence told her to distrust them, but another, weaker part of her responded with happiness.
“You can never treat me that way again,” she said, still hiccuping with sobs.
“I won’t. I never will.”
“If you ever do, that’s the end.”
He put his arms around her, pressing his face into her hair. “It’s never going to happen again,” he whispered. “I love you. I’m sorry.”
They went to a café for breakfast. Leonard was on his best behavior, pulling out her chair, buying her a Paris Match from the newsstand, offering her a brioche from the basket.
The next two days went well. The weather in Nice was cloudy, the beaches full of pebbles. Hoping to take full advantage of her prewedding diet, Madeleine had brought along a two-piece swimsuit, modest by the standards of the Côte d’Azur but daring for her. But it was a little too cold to swim. They used the lounge chairs reserved for them