The Marriage Plot - Jeffrey Eugenides [196]
“What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, looking away. “I forgot about that,” he said in a husky voice. “Seems like a long time ago.”
Outside, shadows were lengthening along the pavement. Madeleine stared out at the Broadway traffic, trying to stave off a rising feeling of hopelessness. She didn’t know how to cheer Leonard up anymore. Everything she tried brought the same result. She worried that Leonard would never be happy again, that he had lost the ability. Right now, when they should have been excited about the new apartment, or checking out their new neighborhood, they were sitting in a vinyl booth, avoiding each other’s eyes and not saying anything. Even worse, Madeleine knew that Leonard understood this. His suffering was sharpened by the knowledge that he was inflicting it on her. But he was unable to stop it. Meanwhile, beyond the plate-glass window, the summer evening was settling over the avenue. Men were coming home from work, their ties loosened, carrying their coats. Madeleine had lost track of the days, but from the relaxed looks on people’s faces and the happy-hour crowd spilling out of the bar on the opposite corner, she could tell it was Friday night. The sun would still be up for hours but the night—and the weekend—had officially begun.
The waiter brought the apple pie, with two forks. But neither of them took a bite.
After twenty minutes, Kelly returned, carrying papers. She’d made two amendments to the standard lease, one stipulating approval of subletters, the other prohibiting pets. At the top of the form she’d typed Madeleine’s and Leonard’s full names, and had filled in the rent and security deposit amounts. Sitting down in the booth, helping herself to pie, she instructed Madeleine to write checks covering the security deposit and the first month’s rent. Then she had Madeleine and Leonard sign their names.
“Congratulations. You guys are officially New Yorkers. Now we can celebrate.”
Madeleine had almost forgotten. “Leonard,” she said. “Do you know Dan Schneider? He’s having a party tonight.”
“It’s like three blocks away,” Kelly said.
Leonard was staring into his coffee cup. Madeleine couldn’t tell if he was consulting his feelings (self-monitoring) or if his mind had stopped. “I’m not really in a party mood,” he said.
This wasn’t what Madeleine wanted to hear. She felt like celebrating. She’d just signed the lease on a Manhattan apartment and she didn’t feel like getting back on the train to New Jersey. She checked her watch. “Come on. It’s only seven-fifteen. Let’s just go for a little while.”
Leonard didn’t say yes but he didn’t say no. Madeleine got up to pay the check. While she was at the register, Leonard went outside and lit a cigarette. His smoking was getting greedier. He sucked on the filter as if it were clogged and required extra force. When she came out with Kelly, the nicotine seemed to have mollified him sufficiently that he accompanied them up Broadway without complaint.
He was quiet as they reached Schneider’s building, right in front of the Seventy-ninth Street subway station, and as they rode in the elevator up to the seventh floor. But as they came into the apartment, Leonard suddenly balked, and grabbed Madeleine’s arm.
“What?” Madeleine said.
He was looking down the hall toward the living room, which was full of people talking loudly over the music.
“I can’t deal with this,” he said.
Kelly, sensing potential trouble, kept right on going. Madeleine watched her join the knot of lightly clad bodies.
“What do you mean you can’t deal with it?”
“Too hot in here. Too many people.”
“Do you want to leave?” she said, unable to hide her exasperation.
“No,” Leonard said, “we’re here now.”
She took his hand and led him into the party, and, for a while, everything went reasonably well. People came over to say hello and congratulate them on their wedding. Leonard proved capable of maintaining conversation.
Dan Schneider, bearded and burly, but wearing an apron, approached Madeleine with a drink in his hand. “Hey, I hear we’re