The Memory Artists - Jeffrey Moore [106]
Does Norval have anything else besides beauty? Yes. He can be shockingly funny, sharp-witted. (But so much thought & so little feeling ! Wit is the salt of conversation, as they say, not the food.) And although he hates humans, he loves animals. His dream, he said, is to go on an African safari and shoot elephant poachers.
February 13
Things getting to the up-to-here point with Ted. And especially with his bubblehead girlfriend “Galaxy.” But don’t know where else to go. Almost no money left. Thank God for Dr. Vorta.
February 20
JJ’s magic “palindrome” day. Everyone seems to have forgotten about it— & about the club’s second meeting—& I didn’t do any reminding. Norval wouldn’t have come anyway—plus our clubhouse is out of commission. I miss those guys, I really do, but doubt I’ll ever see them again, socially at least.
February 21
When Ted isn’t talking about pork futures or telling mind-numbing golf stories, he’s coming on to me. Plus his girlfriend & I don’t exactly see eye to eye. She’s giving me little hints that she wants me out—like last night, when she screamed at me to leave her boyfriend alone (?!), and this morning when she suggested I’d be “much happier” somewhere else.
February 22
Ran into JJ in the Ex-Psych elevator! Really happy to see him. He was bringing Vorta a coffee & doughnut. (I thought JJ was a research assistant, but it looks like he’s a gopher, a gruntworker) Anyway, he set the tray down on the floor, gave me a huge hug & then asked me something very strange—to “help out” Noel & his mother, who has some sort of memory problem. He couldn’t remember Noel’s phone number but he wrote down his address for me. I didn’t know what to say as I took it, just said I’d think about it. I mean, what can I do to help? I know almost nothing about these things.
March 3
Galaxy went ballistic last night—she thinks I’m sleeping with Ted. Because she counted condoms & didn’t get the figure she was expecting . (I didn’t tell her that Ted’s sleeping with someone else.) Anyway, she ended up throwing all my stuff onto the street—some of it, anyway. At one in the morning! Into a bloody snowbank!! I managed, by some miracle, to flag a cab & was on my way to my mom’s, rooting around for loose change in my purse, when I came across Noel’s address. Destiny? Unlikely, but I decided to go to his place anyway, then & there, unannounced— ridiculously late at night, in a snowstorm! Plus it was a cheaper cab ride. If I see a light on, I said to myself, I’ll stop. I saw a light on.
My embarrassment needle was off the scale at first, but I calmed down and Noel & I ended up talking for hours. Really for the first time. He’s a very strange man—and fascinating. I can see why Norval likes him so much. He’s gentlemanly & courteous in an old-fashioned way & a really kind soul, very warm & gentle, the kind of man I adore but am not attracted to—it’s a disease, I think, a genetic impairment that will probably ruin my life.
Noel’s life seems to be on hold while he looks after his mother. Although he’s got a great memory, he seems to have forgotten about himself.
It was so weird talking to Noel about everything—about my “former life.” But I had to, because he dropped a bombshell! He guessed my secret!! From my “voice colours.” But I asked him not to tell anyone & for some reason I know he won’t.
What I didn’t tell him about was the abortion. Which may have been the real reason Stirling lost his mind. And for my mother to hate me. It’s a black zone that’s off limits to everyone. Maybe because it brings on this awful gut feeling, this nightmarish warning from a crystal ball:THAT I’ll NEVER GET PREGNANT AGAIN.
Sterling once told me I wasn’t good for men. That I was like a contagion, a retrovirus