The Memory Artists - Jeffrey Moore [68]
Then Don Quixote:
Sancho did as he bade him, but one of the goatherds, seeing the wound, told him not to be uneasy, as he would apply a remedy with which it would be soon healed; and gathering some leaves of rosemary, of which there was a great quantity there, he chewed them and mixed them with a little salt …
And finally Jules Verne’s The Mysterious Island:
Herbert gathered several shoots of the basil, balm, betony, and rosemary, which possess different medicinal properties, some pectoral, astringent, febrifuge, others anti-spasmodic, or anti-rheumatic …
A muffled voice, as if heard through glass, penetrated Noel’s dead zone: JJ’s voice, his boxy wax-crayon colours.
“Earth to Noel, come in please. Earth to Noel …”
Noel shook his head, as if surfacing from a dive. “Sorry, JJ, I was just …” He had not lost sight of the topic, but could see it only dimly through the semi-transparent pages. “… thinking about rosemary.”
“According to a study in England, it’s supposed to increase alertness and long-term memory by fifteen per cent. Does she use lavender? In her hand soap or bath oil or anything else?”
With a few dry sprigs of rosemary and lavender stuck here and there between the leaves … Noel was off again, this time with Charles Lamb, but the scrolling words were suddenly frozen by JJ, who pinched him on the side of the neck, hard. Noel, startled, rubbed his neck. What was going on? The pinch had a sobering, clarifying effect. “Yeah, I … I’m with you. We were talking about … lavender. It’s one of my mom’s favourite scents. In the summer the backyard’s full of it.”
“Get rid of it. Torch it. Lavender oil slows the brain and impairs memory. It’s good for diaper rash, that’s about it.”
Where do you get all this information? Noel wondered, as he continued rubbing his neck. Is it reliable? And what the hell did you just do to me? “Where do you get all this information? And what was that … pinch all about?”
“All my knowledge comes from the Web. I once surfed for seventy-two hours straight. Which I believe is a record. It’s totally addictive, eh? It’s like what Norval said about sex. ‘It started off recreational, ended habitual.’ I love that line. That guy’s amazing, eh?”
“Yes, he is. But the neck pinch. What was that all about?”
“Upper thunder point.”
“Acupuncture?”
JJ nodded. “Shanshangdien. It’s used on stroke victims and people who drift in and out of consciousness. I learned about it from this Net sage from Shanghai. You know what we could also try? Some liquid Vitara. The ‘Viagra for her.’ I can get it in bulk, cheap, I’m talking drums of the stuff. It should give her a bit of clarity. A bit of friskiness too. Hey! You know what also might be worth a shot? Ricin. You know it?”
“Yes. It’s a protein extracted from the castor bean.”
“Shall we try it?”
“No. It’s twice as deadly as cobra venom, with no known antidote.”
“Exactly.”
“So the idea is to get rid of my mom’s Alzheimer’s by killing her?”
“It would kill her—if she took enough of it. The trick is to give a minuscule amount, a microscopic amount. Just enough to shock her cerebellum, get her brain cells dancing again.”
“I don’t think so.”
“We could try puffer fish.”
“Fugu? That’s one of Norval’s favourites.”
“Shall we get some?”
“No, it has the most lethal skin, intestines, liver and gonads in the world.”
“The Japanese are nuts about it.”
“It kills hundreds of them every year. Tetrodotoxin. It’s what Haitian sorcerers use to zombify their victims.”
“Here’s the kicker. The right amount—a minuscule amount—can kick-start the whole nervous system. It’s already being used to treat terminal cancer patients and heroin addicts! And it’s being researched— right here in Montreal—for other diseases!”
“Like Alzheimer’s?”
“Well, not that I know of. Shall I get some puffer guts at the sushi place on Saint Lawrence?”
Noel shook his head. “No.”
“Good decision. Speaking of Saint Lawrence, there’s a new oxygen bar—have you seen it? Beside the place that does microdermabrasion and laser hair removal? It’s got