The memory keeper's daughter - Kim Edwards [162]
Caroline felt quick tears, thinking of the leaves fluttering like coins on that long-ago day, the brightness of the sun and the humming of distant bees. They had danced across the grass, and she had taken Al’s hand in the hospital, hours later, and said, Yes, I will marry you, yes.
Al slid his hand around her waist and they stepped onto the floor. Caroline had forgotten—it had been a long time—how easily and fluidly their bodies moved together, how free it made her feel to dance. She let her head rest against his shoulder, inhaling his spicy aftershave, the clean scent of machine oil lingering beneath. Al’s hand was pressed firmly against her back, his cheek to hers. They turned, and slowly other people drifted onto the dance floor, smiling in their direction. Caroline knew almost everyone in the room, the staff of the day center, the other parents from Upside Down, the residents from the facility next door. Phoebe was on a waiting list for a room there, a place where she could live with several other adults and a house parent. It seemed ideal in some ways—more independence and autonomy for Phoebe, at least a partial answer to her future—but the truth was that Caroline could not imagine Phoebe living apart from her. The waiting list for the residence had seemed very long when they applied, but in the last year Phoebe’s name had moved up steadily. Soon Caroline would have to make a decision. She glimpsed Phoebe now, smiling such a happy smile, her thin hair held back by the bright red barrettes, stepping shyly onto the dance floor with Robert.
She danced with Al for three more numbers, eyes closed, letting herself drift, following his steps. He was a good dancer, smooth and sure, and the music seemed to run straight through her. Phoebe’s voice could do this to her too, the pure tones of her singing drifting through the rooms, making Caroline pause in whatever she was doing and stand still, the world pouring through her like light. Nice, Al murmured, pulling her closer, pressing his cheek to hers. When the music shifted to a fast rock number, he kept his arm around her as they left the floor.
Caroline, a little giddy, scanned the room for Phoebe by long habit, and felt the first filaments of worry when she didn’t see her.
“I sent her down for more punch,” Linda called from behind the table. She gestured to the dwindling refreshments on the table. “Can you believe this turnout, Caroline? We’re running out of cookies too.”
“I’ll get some,” Caroline offered, glad for an excuse to go after Phoebe.
“She’ll be okay,” Al said, catching her hand and gesturing to the chair beside him.
“I’ll just check,” Caroline said. “I won’t be a minute.”
She walked through the empty halls, so bright and quiet, Al’s touch still present on her skin. She went down the stairs and into the kitchen, pushing open the swinging metal doors with one hand and reaching for the light switch with the other. The sudden fluorescence caught them like a photograph: Phoebe, in her flowered dress, her back against the counter, Robert standing close, his arms around her, one hand sliding up her leg. In the instant before they turned, Caroline saw that he was going to kiss her and Phoebe wanted to be kissed and was ready to kiss him back: this Robert, her first true love. Her eyes were closed, her face awash with pleasure.
“Phoebe,” Caroline said, sharply. “Phoebe and Robert, that’s enough.”
They pulled away from each other, startled but not contrite.
“It’s okay,” Robert said. “Phoebe is my girlfriend.”
“We’re getting married,” Phoebe added.
Caroline, trembling, tried to stay calm. Phoebe was, after all, a grown woman. “Robert,” she said, “I need to talk to Phoebe for a minute. Alone, please.”
Robert hesitated, then walked past Caroline, all his gregarious enthusiasm evaporated. “It’s not bad,” he said, pausing at the door. “Me and Phoebe—we love each other.”
“I know,” Caroline said, as the doors swung shut behind him.
Phoebe stood beneath the harsh lights, twisting her necklace. “You can kiss someone you love, Mom. You kiss Al.”
Caroline