The Metropolis Case_ A Novel - Matthew Gallaway [45]
After the ceremony, Kathy unveiled her plan to have Maria enter the following year’s Heinz Recitals, a statewide high school competition whose winners received scholarship money for college or conservatory. When Maria heard this, her mind began to simmer with implications that went far beyond the competition; she saw herself leaving behind so many things—her home, Castle Shannon, her family—traveling the world, stepping off airplanes and being taken to important theaters, where her voice would create riotous storms among countless admirers.
Meanwhile Kathy was describing the details of what they would need to accomplish over the course of the summer to prepare. “So what do you think?” Kathy asked. “Are you up for it?”
Maria was still floating miles above the ground and so did not so much respond as issue a proclamation: “I would be honored and delighted,” she said in a serious tone that—as she registered the effect on Kathy, who only squinted up at her—snapped her out of it and made her laugh. “If you really think I can win,” she added more hesitantly.
Kathy returned the smile. “Even if you don’t win, it’ll be good for you,” she promised and led them out of the stadium and back to the empty hallways of the school.
AS THRILLED AS Gina was by the news, she felt torn that night when, after dinner, a premonition of Maria’s empty bedroom in a few years made the house feel as sad and lonely as that cavernous place in her soul, except one that not even the promise of music could fill up. As if on puppet strings, she veered into her daughter’s room, where Maria was on the bed reading a book about opera that Kathy had loaned her. “I was just wondering,” she mused to her daughter. “Do we have to pay Miss Warren for these lessons you’re taking this summer?”
Maria immediately detected—and resented—the distant tone in her mother’s voice, and the happiness she had felt that morning vanished as she considered new doubts and fears—namely about the competition—that Gina’s question brought into relief. She looked at her mother with the kind of disdain she felt certain she would feel for herself if she didn’t win, as if such a result would doom her to staying in Castle Shannon forever. “You can call her Kathy,” Maria said curtly, “and no, you don’t have to pay for anything. I just need you to drive me to her house after work.”
Gina took a step back. “I suppose I should check with your fath—”
“Since when do you care what he thinks? Why can’t you just say yes?”
“Honey, what’s wrong?” asked Gina, who could not understand why Maria had to make things so hard. “I’ll get you there, don’t worry. Just remember who told you not to give up singing in the first place,” she remarked as she walked out the door.
“Good—then maybe I’ll stop!” Maria yelled at her mother’s back.
Maria stared at the door and fantasized about hanging herself from the light fixture or diving off the roof, just so that from the great beyond she could see the shocked look on her mother’s face as her body tumbled past. She couldn’t understand why Gina had to say such stupid things—like Kathy would make her pay for lessons!—instead of just helping her. Still, even this much reflection was enough for Maria to decide that she really didn’t have the energy to get out of bed, much less commit suicide—besides, the roof was not really high enough, and she could imagine just breaking her leg in the bushes—so she absently returned to her dreams and made a vow that, no matter where she went, she would leave Gina and everyone else she knew behind.
THE FOLLOWING WEDNESDAY, as promised, Gina drove Maria to her first session at Kathy’s in Cedar Village, where she was living with her parents until her wedding—she was engaged to a